The West Wing

Via Netflix, I have been making my way through one of my all-time favorite TV shows, The West Wing. This is one of the best scenes I’ve watched.

Season 2, Episode 3
Transcript courtesy of West Wing Transcripts

C.J.
Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen. The President of the United States.

Everyone stands and claps. The flashbulbs go off as Bartlet enters the reception.

BARTLET
Thank you. Thank you, very much. Thanks a lot. I wish I could spend more than a few minutes with you but the polls don't close in the east for another hour and there are plenty of election results left to falsify.

Everyone chuckles.

BARTLET
You know with so many people participating in the political and social debate through call in shows, it's a good idea to be reminded...

Bartlet loses his train of thought when something attracts his attention. The camera pans over to Jenna Jacobs, sitting on her chair.

BARTLET
...it's a good idea to be reminded of the awesome impact... the awesome impact...

He finally gives up and addresses her.

BARTLET
I'm sorry, um... you're Dr. Jenna Jacobs, right?

JENNA JACOBS
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
It's good to have you here.

JENNA JACOBS
Thank you.

BARTLET
The awesome impact of the airwaves and how that translates into the furthering of our national discussions but obviously also how it can... how it can...

He sighs, and addresses Jenna Jacobs again.

BARTLET
Forgive me, Dr. Jacobs. Are you an M.D.?

JENNA JACOBS
Ph.D.

BARTLET
A Ph.D.?

JENNA JACOBS
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
In Psychology?

JENNA JACOBS
No sir.

BARTLET
Theology?

JENNA JACOBS
No.

BARTLET
Social work?

JENNA JACOBS
I have a Ph.D. in English Literature.

BARTLET
I'm asking, 'cause on your show, people call in for advice and you go by the name of Dr. Jacobs on your show. And I didn't know if maybe your listeners were confused by that, and assumed you had advanced training in Psychology, Theology, or health care.

JENNA JACOBS
I don't believe they are confused, no sir.

BARTLET
Good. I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.

JENNA JACOBS
I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does.

BARTLET
Yes, it does. Leviticus.

JENNA JACOBS
18:22

BARTLET
Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.

(small chuckles from the guests)

She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, and always clears the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath, Exodus 35:2, clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's really important, 'cause we've got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes us unclean, Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother, John, for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads?

Jenna Jacobs fidgets uncomfortably.

BARTLET
Think about those questions, would you? One last thing, while you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tightass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits.

Jenna Jacobs squirms in her seat but doesn't rise. Bartlet glares meaningfully at her.

She finally rises out of her seat.