Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Communication Breakdown, It's Always The Same

I am such a wuss.

My co-worker Gilya and I have been battling back and forth for the past two weeks. She creates the purchase orders for me when I need to order something. She's constantly complaining that I'm not following the correct procedures. I'm always complaining that she keeps changing the procedures every time she and I work together.

We're both frustrated with each other.

Yesterday our conflict came to a head when, after all the underlying tension for weeks, I emailed her:

Me: "Nothing's easy with you anymore. You okay? You've seemed very grumpy the last two weeks or so."
Her: "Marshall, I really get tired of debating everything with you. Everything is being done for a reason. Things will go a lot smoother if you would just cooperate."
Me: "You'll get no more debate from me."
Her: "I GREATLY, GREATLY, appreciate it. THANKS!!!!"

I gave in, as I do in any situation like that. I'd rather just avoid the conflict and look like a complete pussy. The bad thing is that when I came home from work last night, I was so frustrated. In the past, I would drink a few beers and lash out at Carlos. I think I did pretty well avoiding that last night. I took a calm walk around the block, jerked off to Academy X, and finished with a hot shower. When I was in the shower, I mentally told myself that the water was washing away my worries from the day. I then called Carlos. I was feeling good by then. It’s not fair to him if I take my day’s stress out on him.

After a good meal of Tuna Helper, I headed off to bed. It was 9:30 pm.

A bit of exercise, a good meal, lots of sleep, and no alcohol seemed to have worked. I feel fantastic today. I’ve already spoken to Gilya this morning. She and I were smiling and laughing like old times. I obsessed about our conflict for no reason.

I am still obsessing that I gave in – again – but I’ll work on that another day.