Prank Call

Dear Prank Caller:

I don't appreciate your calling my cell phone at 3 am Friday morning - three times - with your two drunk friends. I don't appreciate your filling up my voice mail with witty banter like, "We were going to prank call you once, but had to call back. You sound like a faggot on your voice mail. FAGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOTTTTTT."

I do appreciate that you are too stupid to realize that, thanks to caller ID, I have your cell phone number. I do appreciate that you would actually post your cell phone number on your MySpace page, which I found easily via Google.

I wanted to let you know that you are your friends are not "niggas" because you are a 19-year-old white kid from Boutte, LA. I wanted to let you know that you really shouldn't post your full name and home address on MySpace.

I am glad to see that you have other hobbies besides prank calling strangers at 3 am - namely bass fishing and making videos of you riding your (too small for you) bike in your backyard. Keep up the good work.

Sincerely,

The one who will post all your personal information here if you ever call again.