Emails From Crazy People

My friend Vincent sent me a link to the site Emails From Crazy People. I think I will submit one that I received recently.

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Remember: Assume any email you send will be read by the entire world.


NOTE: The names have been changed to protect privacy, but the words are exactly as written. I have even left the punctuation and capitalization as I received it.


The Players (all of these are my family members) -
Abbey: Ronald’s wife (age 66)
Marie: Abbey/Mark’s sister (age 60)
Mark: Abbey/Marie’s brother, and Myra’s husband (age 63)
Myra: Mark’s wife (age 63)
Ronald: Abbey’s husband (age 73)
Craig: Mark and Myra’s oldest son (age 34)
Suzie: Craig’s girlfriend (age 33)
Annie: Mark and Myra’s youngest daughter (age 20)
Cameron: Annie’s boyfriend (age 22)
Garrett: Mark and Myra’s second oldest son (age 31)
Connie: Garrett’s wife (age 31)
Joseph: Mark and Myra’s third oldest son (age 28)

I know it’s probably hard to keep track if you don’t actually know these people, but the names don’t really matter.

Email from Marie to her sister Abbey, commenting on their brother Mark’s email: Get a load of Mark’s life!
with this email forwarded –

I think I have finally reached my limit as to the number of problems I can handle at once. Still putting in 10-12 hour days and falling increasingly behind. Then last week a critical person announced he has had enough so he is leaving which will mean even more work for the rest of us. Our landlord is give us a hassle about us moving out, so much so that I am having to go get a lawyer (Myra doesn’t know this yet). Myra still in therapy and in pain but getting better. Not making any progress on the lot. We have everyone pushed to the limit on the jobs to where tempers are flaring. My nose runs and my feet smell, and the only light in the tunnel is coming home to a nice home cooked meal and falling asleep in the recliner. I have missed the last 2 date nights but nice Myra still lets me date (I can only date people with the initials of MDM). With Craig and Suzie moving out into their new house, Annie wants Cameron to move in, which we are against, and she accuses me of having a double standard which I readily admit to but it doesn’t settle the argument. I keep telling her she can move into her own apartment at her own expense which usually settles the argument. Now she is bringing up security, safety, four eyes are better than two but I remind her of her grandmother’s (Myra’s mom) saying, “a stiff prick has no bounds” . Connie want babies but Garrett wants to finish his schooling so Myra wants to start her own bailout program with our retirement nest egg. Joseph is desperate for someone from his family to move over to the tri cities so Myra is looking at condos on line in that area and I have no idea how we would afford anything like that. Did I mention about the nose and feet? My typing sucks and my spelling is worse, thank goodness I don’t care.


The email was then forwarded from Abbey to Ronald, who replied back to Abbey and Mark:
Mark just remember this too will Pass but we will always love you and be with you in spirit try deep breathing Your old BROTHER IN law Ronald


Except that instead of forwarding the email to Mark, he inadvertently forwarded it to a distribution list of his that I had set up for him – that emailed our entire extended family.

Again, assume any email you send will be read by the entire world.

Our family is still laughing about this!