Wil Wheaton & Stand By Me

Wil Wheaton's blog is one of the handful I eagerly await a new entry from. Yes, the actor - and now writer. I recommend his 2004 book Just a Geek.

Here's an excerpt from his most recent entry, along with the picture he is referring to.

This photo captures our personalities perfectly: River and Corey are focused and serious (Corey is even wearing a tie and drinking coffee!) I am listening to the same person they are, but I'm not even trying to contain how excited I am to be going on a television show that I had been watching with my Aunt Val since I could remember, in front of the whole country, no less.

My favorite part of this picture, though, is Jerry. It's almost like he caught my mom or dad taking this picture of us, and decided to strike a pose, just to be silly. I just love that he isn't taking the thing too seriously, and that he's just having fun and enjoying the whole thing. As I got older and began to feel like the teen magazine publicity stuff was taking over my life, it stopped being fun, and it started to feel like a chore. I always envied that Jerry seemed to take it all in stride, keep it in perspective, and just have fun with it. I heard him on the Adam Carolla podcast about a week or so ago, and he hadn't changed a bit: still silly, still cracking me up, still keeping everything in perspective.


I've always said that Stand By Me was so successful because Rob cast four young actors who were so much like their characters, but I think it's spooky how the four of us ended up being so much like our characters: River died too young, Corey struggled like crazy to get his personal demons under control, Jerry found success and happiness, and I'm a writer.

You can read his entire blog entry here. It's much longer than what I posted.

Here's a link to the ending of the movie. Scroll over to around the 6:45 minute mark. From there until the end makes me tear up every time.

Cartoon

Just because I think it's funny...

Top Male Stars of All Time - Part II

I have that neat little device called FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed that lists which web site each hit comes from, which site the person leaves to, and which specific blog page the person initially enters.

My friend Debbie obsesses about that information.

My friend Jason mentioned it in one of his entries, but I can’t find the specific entry right now. (Jason – Link please?)

Invariably, the specific page that draws my visitors (right now, 6 of the current 10 listings) is Top Ten Favorite Male Stars of All Time, usually from a Google image search.

Since that page is so popular, I thought I would revisit it. Then round out my Top Twenty.

Recap of the Top Ten:
1. James Duval
2. Stephane Rideau
3. Ryan Phillippe
4. Tommy Kirk
5. River Phoenix
6. William McNamara
7. Kevin Zegers
8. Ethan Embry
9. Steve Antin
10. Peter Facinelli

The Top Ten List has remained constant over the years. The rest of the list, leading to #20, does change.

Here is my current list, with pictures (click them to see larger) and some information on each person.





#11
Name: James Marsden
Current Age: 35
Where You Probably Know Him From: Cyclops in the X-Men movies
Where I Discovered Him: The 1996-1997 TV show Second Noah
Best Place To See His Body: He has long shirtless scenes in the movies Heights and Sugar & Spice, and the TV show Second Noah. He has never done frontal or rear nudity.
Has He Ever Played Gay?: In the movie The 24th Day and at least one other. (I don’t want to reveal the other movie. I consider it a SPOILER.)
Sexual Orientation: Straight.
Did You Know?: He isn’t known for his singing, but sings (well) in the TV series Ally McBeal, and the movies Hairspray and Enchanted. Although not related to actor Jason Marsden, they are actually good friends and their respective wives have been friends since they were six.





#12
Name: Jim Verraros
Current Age: 26
Where You Probably Know Him From: Season one of American Idol
Where I Discovered Him: American Idol
Best Place To See His Body: Google search (for magazine photo shoots)
Has He Ever Played Gay?: In the movies Eating Out and Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds. He doesn’t show any skin in either one.
Sexual Orientation: Gay. Came out in The Advocate in 2002.
Did You Know?: Both his parents are deaf.


#13
Name: Kal Penn
Current Age: 32
Where You Probably Know Him From: “Kumar” from the three Harold & Kumar movies.
Where I Discovered Him: The movie Van Wilder
Best Place To See His Body: The movies Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle (rear nude) and The Namesake (shirtless)
Has He Ever Played Gay?: Not that I can find
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Did You Know?: His real name is Kalpen Modi.






#14
Name: Sal Mineo
Current Age: Killed by a mugger in 1976, age 37.
Where You Probably Know Him From: “Plato” in Rebel Without A Cause
Where I Discovered Him: Krakatoa: East of Java – late night TV when I was a kid
Best Place To See His Body: The movie The Gene Krupa Story (shirtless) and the Harold Stevenson's painting The New Adam (full frontal nude)
Has He Ever Played Gay?: He was smitten with Jim Stark (James Dean) in Rebel. He played opposite Don Johnson in the 1971 gay-themed play Fortune and Men’s Eyes.
Sexual Orientation: Came out in the early 1970’s.
Did You Know?: In 1957, he had a #9 single called “Start Movin’ (In My Direction)”




#15
Name: Ian Somerhalder
Current Age: 30
Where You Probably Know Him From: “Boone” in the TV show Lost
Where I Discovered Him: The very short-lived TV show (8 episodes in 2000) Young Americans – written by my #9 favorite Steve Antin.
Best Place To See His Body: The movies The Rules of Attraction, In Enemy Hands, and Marco Polo (shirtless), and the TV show Tell Me You Love Me (obscured frontal view)
Has He Ever Played Gay?: Yes, in The Rules of Attraction
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Did You Know?: He’s from Covington, LA – right over the Causeway Bridge from my house. No, you probably didn’t – or cared.





#16
Name: Danny Nucci
Current Age: 40
Where You Probably Know Him From: Leonardo Dicaprio’s doomed friend from the movie Titanic
Where I Discovered Him: A 1986 episode of the TV show Growing Pains.
Best Place To See His Body: The movies Sublet (shirtless), Shark In A Bottle (rear nude), and the TV show Some of My Best Friends (shirtless)
Has He Ever Played Gay?: The movie The Unknown Cyclist and maybe other times
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Did You Know?: He was born in Austria, was raised in Italy, and moved to America in 1976.




#17
Name: Rafael Nadal
Current Age: 23
Where You Probably Know Him From: Watching tennis
Where I Discovered Him: The same
Best Place To See His Body: The cover of a magazine, a Google search, or The Tennis Channel
Has He Ever Played Gay?: N/A
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Did You Know?: He is the only male player to have won French Open, Wimbledon, and Olympic gold medal in the same year (2008).






#18
Name: Logan Marshall-Green
Current Age: 32
Where You Probably Know Him From: Played “Trey Atwood” on the TV show The O.C.
Where I Discovered Him: Played “Tyler Fogg” on the short-lived 2007 TV series Traveler
Best Place To See His Body: Short shirtless scene in a movie/TV show that I cannot yet identify
Has He Ever Played Gay?: Not that I know of, though he does more theatre work than movies/TV
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Did You Know?: He has a twin brother named Taylor Marshall-Green.



#19
Name: Andy Roddick
Current Age: 26
Where You Probably Know Him From: Tennis on TV
Where I Discovered Him: A tennis tournament that I was watching in 2000 that he won the day he turned 18. I don’t remember the name of it. I just remember never hearing of him before watching that.
Best Place To See His Body: a Google search
Has He Ever Played Gay?: N/A
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Did You Know?: Roddick hosted Saturday Night Live on November 8, 2003, becoming the second professional tennis player to host (Chris Evert being the first).


#20
Name: Jesse Spencer
Current Age: 30
Where You Probably Know Him From: Plays “Dr. Robert Chase” on the TV show House, though he hasn’t gotten much screen time in the last couple of years.
Where I Discovered Him: In the 2003 movie Swimming Upstream
Best Place To See His Body: That movie – he’s in a Speedo for most of the time.
Has He Ever Played Gay?: No
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Did You Know?: He is fluent in French.





As I mentioned in the original entry, if you enjoy male stars, you really should join my Yahoo group MaleStarsShirtless. And be sure to check out my other blog of the same name.

Cooking Challenge - Week Three

We have now made it through Week Three of my Cooking Challenge.

Last night, I cooked from page 67 of Jamie’s Italy by Jamie Oliver.

The recipe was Minestrone D’inizio Autunno (Early Autumn Minestrone). Click the link to see the recipe.

I think I am getting better at this cooking thing: The recipe was a bit complicated – and took almost three hours to accomplish – but for once, my finished product looked like the picture in the book.

Here is the picture from the book.



We had seven for dinner – Carlos, Christine, Karlie, Pam, Curt, little Karley, and me – so I decided to make an additional dish from that same cook book. Our main dish was Spaghetti con Gamberetti e Rucola (Spaghetti with Shrimp and Arugula).

I ended up cooking the Minestrone on Tuesday night and the main dish Wednesday night. Then slowly warming up the Minestrone on Wednesday evening. I followed the main dish recipe very closely, only substituting fettuccini for the spaghetti.

I didn’t find the recipe online so I have retyped it below, with the small changes I made.


Spaghetti con Gamberetti e Rucola (Spaghetti with Shrimp and Arugula)

This dish was on the menu in a little restaurant called La Gondola in one of the roughest parts of Palermo. I thought the combination of flavors was great, and very accessible to us back home in Britain. You can buy very high-quality frozen shrimp in supermarkets these days, so it’s a win-win situation, but if you can get hold of some super-fresh ones and peel them yourself, this can all of a sudden become very luxurious in flavor. A real crowd-pleaser. Finish off with good-quality olive oil and wild Arugula full of flavor and you’ll be laughing. PS, if using frozen shrimp, make sure they’re thawed out.

1 lb. dried fettuccini
sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
extra virgin olive oil
2 cloves of garlic, peeled and finely chopped
1-2 dried red chilies, crumbled
1 lb. peeled raw large shrimp
1 small wineglass of white wine
2 heaping tablespoons sun-dried tomato purée, or 6 sun-dried tomatoes blitzed in a blender
zest and juice of 1 lemon
2 handfuls of Arugula, roughly chopped

Cook your fettuccini in a large pot of salted boiling water according to the package instructions. Meanwhile, heat 3 good gulgs of extra virgin olive oil in a large frying pan and toss in the garlic and chili. As the garlic begins to color, add the shrimp and sauté them for a minute. Add the white wine and the tomato purée and simmer for a couple of minutes. When the pasta is ready, drain it in a colander, reserving a little of the cooking water. Toss the fettuccini with the sauce, squeeze in the lemon juice, and add half the chopped Arugula, using a little of the reserved cooking water if you want to loosen the sauce a bit, and correct the seasoning. Divide between four plates and sprinkle with the grated lemon zest and the rest of the Arugula leaves.


The pasta dish was really good, but the minestrone was definitely better – and a huge hit. Carlos said I should have led with the pasta dish and finished with the minestrone, but I went the traditional soup, then main course way.

I also set up a Parmesan cheese taste test station. Without marking any of the selections, I put out small bowls of:
1) Kraft 100% Grated Parmesan Cheese (from the familiar green/clear cylindrical bottle) - $.69/ounce,
2) pre-shredded Boar’s Head Parmesan Cheese - $1.16 per ounce, and
3) a block of top quality Parmesan Cheese ($1.96 per ounce) that I shredded directly before the taste test.

Predictably, the top quality Parmesan Cheese was the clear favorite. The #1 and #2 choices, however, were virtually indistinguishable. Our Top Panel of Taste Testers determined that the Kraft was fine for blending with dishes and with most other applications, and to use the block for special occasions. There was no need to spend the extra money for the Boar’s Head.


In keeping with our Italian theme, Karlie brought a beautiful and tasty appetizer: a small green item (olives), white item (I don’t remember), and red item (small tomatoes) – skewered on a toothpick. This was placed around a bowl of (I think) melted chocolate. I was rushing around cooking and really should have paid more attention to the details of her dish. It was delicious!



Pam came through this week with the dessert, bringing Italian gelato, sherbet and two kinds of ice cream. Yum!

We also drank at least three bottles of wine, but we may have had four. Everything was a bit hazy by the end of the night.

We discussed “rotating out” this crowd next week and expanding the Challenge to include first my parents and then my friends in the coming weeks, but decided that, since we had such fun last night, we should burn it out and keep the same crowd one more week.

Week Four of Cooking Challenge will be the most challenging yet: I am going to attempt a Tapas menu – 5 or 6 appetizer-sized Spanish dishes, both hot and cold, served in succession.

After next week, I may take a break. We’ll see.

Until then, Bon Appétit!

Rediscovery: The Rave-Ups

Do you remember The Rave-Ups? Probably not.

I can recall exactly one song by them: Positively Lost Me. It was featured in a scene from the movie Pretty In Pink. But didn't make it onto the soundtrack.

I was reading a recent retrospective of John Hughes and this song/scene was mentioned.

I don't think I've heard the song in 20 years.

Here's the song:


Apparently, they're still around. Here's their MySpace page.

Cooking Challenge - Week Two

Last night was Week Two of my Cooking Challenge.

Page 67 of Rick Bayless's Mexican Kitchen had a recipe for "Essentially Garlicky Achiote Seasoning Paste". Seeing that I really couldn't serve that as a main course, no matter how many times I doubled the recipe, I bent my rule a bit and went to page 167, which yielded better results.


Here is the recipe I used, complete with my comments in italics.


Herby Ricotta-Poblano Tacos

Makes a generous cup of filling, enough for 8 tacos
8 tacos? That didn’t sound like a lot so I doubled the recipe. Turns out, we had plenty left over.


Ingredients -

4 garlic cloves, unpeeled - I had a huge ass can of minced garlic. I dumped in 8 scoops of minced garlic. That still didn’t seem to be enough though.

2 fresh poblano chiles - Apparently my local Rouses, Super Wal-Mart or Whole Foods have never heard of this item so I bought a can of Original Fire Roasted Diced Green Chiles.

1 cup ricotta cheese ("the freshest you can find") - "the freshest I can find" was in the dairy section of Rouses. I did search Whole Foods for “fresh” ricotta. It just doesn’t exist – at least in New Orleans.

4 teaspoons chopped fresh herbs (such as cilantro, epazote, thyme, marjoram) - I found a spice jar of cilantro and I already had a spice jar full of thyme and marjoram. I think the marjoram is from the late 1990's when I was going through my Ethiopian food phase. (I can still smell the Doro Wat cooking on my stove!)

I asked the nice man stocking the fresh fruit/vegetables at Rouses if they carried fresh epazote, but I think I stumped him. Maybe I mispronounced the word. On my later trip to Whole Foods I stumbled upon some epazote.

Wikipedia says, “Epazote is used as a leaf vegetable and herb for its pungent flavor. Raw, it has a resinous, medicinal pungency, similar to the liquorice taste of anise, fennel, or even tarragon, but stronger. Epazote's fragrance is strong, but difficult to describe. It has been compared to citrus, petroleum, savory, mint and putty. Although it is traditionally used with black beans for flavor and its carminative properties, it is also sometimes used to flavor other traditional Mexican dishes as well: it can be used to season quesadillas and sopes (especially those containing huitlacoche), soups, mole de olla, tamales with cheese and chile, chilaquiles, eggs and potatoes and enchiladas.”

Since I am doubling the recipe, I used 2 teaspoons each of cilantro, epazote, thyme, and marjoram. That gave this dish an interesting flavor! In a good way.

Salt, about 1/4 teaspoon - Finally, something that I already have in my kitchen.

About 1/8 teaspoon black pepper, preferably freshly ground - Thanks to a present Lloyd gave me a few years ago, I actually had freshly ground pepper.

8 corn tortillas (plus a few extra, in case some break) - Break? The ones I bought are soft. Hell. Did I buy the wrong thing?

1 1/4 cups Tomatillo-Green Guacamole - After searching Rouses and Super Wal-Mart for poblano chiles, fresh ricotta cheese, and epazote, I was worn out. I did a cursory search for this item and then picked up some Pico de Gallo style Guacamole from the refrigerated vegetables section.

3 or 4 radishes, thinly sliced or cut into matchsticks – I totally skipped this ingredient. I don’t believe in garnishes.

A few tablespoons chopped white onion, for garnish – Another garnish? Another skip.

Big, beautiful sprigs of cilantro, for garnish - How about sprinkling some from the spice jar that I have? Done.


Directions -

Rick Bayless: 1. The filling. On an ungreased griddle or small, heavy skillet set over medium heat, roast the garlic, turning frequently, until blackened in spots and soft to the touch, about 15 minutes. Cool, peel off the papery skins, then finely chop.

Me: 1. The filling. Pour some pre-chopped garlic from my can into a skillet. Push it around until it starts to burn a bit.


Rick Bayless: 2. Roast the chiles directly over a gas flame or 4 inches below a very hot broiler until blackened on all sides, about 5 minutes for open flame, about 10 minutes for broiler. Cover with a kitchen towel and let stand 5 minutes. Peel, pull out the stem and seed pod, then rinse briefly to remove bits of seeds and stray bits of skin. Chop the chiles into 1/4-inch bits.

Me: 2. Add the small can of Original Fire Roasted Diced Green Chiles to the garlic. If I remember correctly, green chiles are not that hot. I had a can of Chipotle Chiles left over from another recipe so I added one of those too.


Rick Bayless: 3. In a medium-size bowl, mix together the garlic, ricotta, fresh herbs and half the chopped chiles. Taste and season with the salt and pepper. Cover and set aside.

Me: 3. Medium-size bowl. Check. Mix together the garlic, ricotta, herbs and half the chopped chiles. Check. Taste and season with the salt and pepper. Check. Cover and set aside. Check. Finally, a step I can complete.


Rick Bayless: 4. The tortillas. Set up a steamer (a vegetable steamer in a large saucepan filled with 1/2 inch of water works well); heat to a boil. Wrap the tortillas in a heavy kitchen towel, lay in the steamer and cover with a tight lid. Boil 1 minute, turn off the heat and let stand without opening the steamer for 15 minutes.

Me: 4. The tortillas. Read Rick Bayless's instructions and disregard. Open the package of corn tortillas. Place them attractively on a large plate.


Rick Bayless: 5. Finishing the dish. Just before serving, mix the remaining half of the chopped chiles into the guacamole (plus enough water to make it easily spoonable), and spoon a portion of it onto each of the 4 serving plates. One at a time, spread a generous 2 tablespoons of the ricotta filling over each of 8 hot tortillas, roll up and divide among your individual serving plates. Sprinkle with the radishes and onion, lay on a sprig of cilantro and you're ready for some light, zesty flavors.

Me: 5. Finishing the dish. Just before serving, mix the remaining half of the chopped chiles into the guacamole (plus enough water to make it easily spoonable). Check. Spoon a portion of it onto each of the 4 serving plates. Wait, what 4 serving plates? One at a time, spread a generous 2 tablespoons of the ricotta filling over each of 8 hot tortillas, roll up and divide among your individual serving plates. Oh, I get it now: There are two different items going on here - the guacamole and the ricotta stuff. I was thinking this was one big dish. Sprinkle with the radishes and onion, lay on a sprig of cilantro and you're ready for some light, zesty flavors. Check.



Christine, Karlie, Pam and little Karley (yes, spelled differently) joined Carlos and me. Carlos supplied the – very classy – chips and three types of dip. Pam offered to bring a homemade Mexican Apple Tart, but ran out of time and pick up some cookies from Subway.

We all sat around, eating and drinking wine. It was especially nice to hang out with Pam. Since she has moved back to New Orleans (about six months ago, after living in Minneapolis for 10 years), we haven’t had a real chance to talk with her.



We are having the same crowd over next Wednesday. I will be cooking from page 67 of Jamie’s Italy by Jamie Oliver – picked out by Pam, though no one opened the book.

After next week, Carlos and I will add some of our friends to the Wednesday rotation.

Carlos thinks my attention span for this project will hold until December. I’m not sure I’ll make it that far.

Until next time…Bon Appétit!

2010 Men on a Mission Calendar

Interesting article, tipped off to me by Joe.My.God., one of my daily reads:

Back for it's 3rd year, the popular and controversial 2010 calendar features 12 hunky returned Mormon missionaries who served full-time missions for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

With the cover inspired by artist Arnold Friberg and his rendition of the Book of Mormon story, Captain Moroni and the Title of Liberty, we might just see the Honor Code Office at Brigham Young University scrambling to remove any and all shirtless Book of Mormon paintings and sculptures around campus by this and other inspired artists.



Each page features an oversized photo of each model, including a photo as a missionary and a calendar.

There is also a Mormon Boys: Missionary Position sticker, which is NOT as dirty as it sounds.

Cooking Challenge - Week One

Carlos recently finished reading the book Julie & Julia. For those not familiar with the book (or the upcoming movie): a housewife (Julie) decides to make all 500+ recipes in Julia Child’s cookbook – in one year.

Inspired by that, Carlos and I are trying to accomplish something similar. I have 70+ cookbooks.

Here are my actual bookshelves. (Click to enlarge. You can actually read the titles)…




Every Wednesday night - until we are tired of this latest idea - I will cook whatever is on page 67 of one of my cookbooks. Why page 67? Since I was born in 1967, I thought it would be easy to remember.

Carlos wants to be surprised by each meal so I can’t tell you exactly what we will be having until after the meal. Since we have now had our first meal (last night), I can reveal that this week I cooked out of a cookbook called Cajun Cuisine. Page 67 contained a recipe for Crab Soup.



Here is the recipe:

Crab Soup

1 ½ cups of butter
4 small onions, grated
1 bay leaf
¼ cup of chopped celery leaves
Pinch of thyme
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 8-ounce can of tomato sauce
½ cup of flour
2 quarts of water
2 pounds of fresh crab meat
Salt and cayenne pepper, to taste
½ cup of chopped parsley
Lemon slices (garnish)

1. Melt butter in a large saucepan; add onions and cook until onions are transparent.
2. Add bay leaf, celery leaves, thyme and garlic and mix well; add tomato sauce and mix again.
3. Stir in flour and mix until well blended; slowly add water, stirring, until mixture is well blended; add crab meat, salt and pepper, bring to a boil and simmer about 10 to 15 minutes.
4. Serve in soup bowls, sprinkled with parsley and topped with lemon slices.
Yield: 8 servings

I bought imitation crab meat, which is much less expensive, but it tasted fine.

Christine invited us over to her house last night so we provided the soup course. We also had delicious bread, a main course of pork loin, birthday cake in honor of Pam’s birthday, and lots of flowing wine. All the food was really, really good.

Carlos and I arrived around 6:30 pm and left around 9:15 pm. We had a great time.

In addition to expanding my cooking skills, we are using Cooking Challenge to reconnect with our family and friends. We have invited Christine, Karlie, Pam, Kurt (Pam’s husband) and their daughter over for week two’s dinner. It’ll be a full house! For future dinners, we will be inviting other family and friends.

Week two of Cooking Challenge will be taken from page 67 of Rick Bayliss’s Mexican Kitchen cookbook. I’ll post the dish and details on the dinner next Thursday.



Bon Appétit!

Not Commander's Palace - Follow Up

I never did receive a reply back from the email I sent Karlie, but my sister Christine sent me this reply:

Marshall,

I am sorry that you all felt left out. Karlie was not the master mind behind the plan, though. I would imagine that she was probably confused to get your email.

The Friday night plan just evolved from no particular person. Yes, she had a gift certificate and yes, she wanted to treat Jeff and Claudia. Pam is a permanent fixture in our house/life. That really was all there was to it.

That said, I did put 2 and 2 together and realized that when Friday came, you might feel left out. I think things would be different if Pam were a friend and not family. The “problem” is that she is both. So then it seemed like the family was going to dinner without you and Carlos. In reality, Karlie and I wanted to do something nice for Claudia and Jeff. Pam is just always there. She is a friend and family.

I messed up by not saying something. I guess I had the money aspect (i.e., this is going to cost us a fortune) stuck in my head. In hindsight, I should have asked ya’ll to join in and everyone just pay their own way. That did not dawn on me (I don’t generate options well, just ask my therapist!). I was thinking that we were treating Claudia and if you were there, we would be treating you, too. I don’t know why I thought that. It seems stupid now.

I did hope that the night would go by un-noticed. There were many other nights where we had plans for dinner that you did not know about. On those nights, the dinner plans just happened and we did not tell anyone. I hoped for the same on Friday night so that you would not feel left out. Obviously that did not happen. I am sorry. Please know that no one wanted to leave you out. It happened unintentionally.

Karlie in no way would have known to say something to you and Carlos. She did not have any “intentions.” She did not exclude you. I am sorry if I gave you the impression that Karlie wanted something in a particular way. It was not like that at all. She would never leave you and Carlos out. She would be upset to know that you or Carlos felt left out. She does a lot to include the entire family in many events. We love the family, and have no desire to leave anyone out -- particularly you, my only brother, and Carlos who is so kind.

I am glad that we will all be together tomorrow. There’s a lot of love here.

Love,

Christine

I invited Christine and Karlie to my house for dinner tomorrow night. (More on that later.) They already had a birthday party planned for Pam so we're going over there.

Not Commander's Palace

Claudia, my younger sister, in town from Atlanta for the week, around 3 pm Friday: "Well, we'll see you when we get back tonight."

Me: "Oh, where are you going?"

Claudia: "Commander's Palace" a really nice, expensive restaurant here in New Orleans "with Christine" my other sister "and Karlie" her girlfriend.

Me: "This is the first I'm hearing about this. How long has this been planned?"

Claudia: "About a week. I wouldn't worry about it. Well, I gotta go."


My cell phone rang 10 minutes later. It was Christine.


Me, looking at the caller ID: "Hey, Christine."

Christine after AT LEAST 5 minutes of small talk: "So I wanted to let you know that Karlie got a gift certificate to Commander's Palace from one of her clients. Jeff" Claudia's husband, also in town this week, along with their three kids "has never been to a really nice restaurant so we wanted to treat them."

Me: "Did Claudia just call you?"

Christine: "Uh, no. Anyway, I've felt guilty all week about not inviting you and Carlos."

Me: "Then why not invite us?"

Christine, avoiding the question: "Well, it's Karlie's gift certificate."

Me: "Do you realize by leaving us out that you have really hurt our feelings? If it were me, this is what I would have said right away: 'Christine, Carlos and I have a gift certificate to Commander's Palace and we would like to take Jeff and Claudia out. We would love to have you join us, and, if it's okay with you, the four of us can split any extra not covered - and give Claudia and Jeff a free night out.' I would never have thought to exclude you."

Christine: "Uh, do you and Carlos want to come with us?"

Me: "Christine, a pity invite is worse than no invite at all."

Christine: "Oh, we'll you'd have to wear and coat, and it's an expensive restaurant and ..."

Me: "I know you're trying to make the situation better, but you're just digging yourself a deeper hole. You should just let it go. I hope the four of you have fun. Seriously. In the future, however, I wish you would think about the feelings of others and how your actions affect others."

Christine: "Pam and Kurt" Karlie's sister and brother-in-law "invited themselves along so there are actually 6 of us going." That means that everyone from our generation except for Carlos and me are going to dinner.

Me: "Christine, you really should stop trying to make this situation better."


Knowing that she would repeat this conversation to Karlie, she and I laughed that Karlie "is dead inside" and "wouldn't really think any of this is important". Then we hung up on that positive note.


I can't really fault Karlie. She has a brain for business, not interpersonal relationships. (On the decision making function of the Myers-Briggs test - basically if thinking or feeling determines your decisions, she always scores very, very high toward thinking. Carlos and I usually score toward feeling.)


You can read more about the test here.



All of us, plus our parents, plus Claudia/Jeff's three kids (ages 4, 3, and 4 months) hung out at my house Saturday night. Friday night was not brought up - or alluded to - AT ALL. I was hoping at least Karlie or Christine would apologize. My guess is that since Christine follows Karlie, and Karlie probably laughed off our feelings for the event, Christine followed Karlie's lead.


This afternoon, I sent an email to Karlie:

Friday afternoon, Claudia and then later Christine mentioned to Carlos and me that the six of you (including Pam and Kurt) were going to Commander's Palace Friday night. Christine told me about your gift certificate and wanting to treat Jeff to a fancy restaurant because he had never been before. Because Carlos and I were the one couple in our generation excluded, we really felt left out. Especially when Christine told me that she "felt bad about it all week and was hoping we wouldn't find out".

I am sure that was not your intention, but I do wish you would have said something early in the week - or even Saturday evening - to Carlos and me about this. Even just to explain why you wouldn't be able to invite us. We would never had excluded you from anything like that that we would plan. And we never will.

I have said my piece - and made my peace - with the situation. I do not expect any reply from you. I just wanted you to know how I felt.


I really am now going to let it go. And I really do not expect a reply from her.