Ballet

At work, our favorite radio station is 104.1 - "Voodoo 104.1 ... New Orleans". Because of the station, I'm able to kick ass in the Current Pop Music category in the Song Pop games I play with my friends.

One of the songs in current rotation on the station is The Script's song Hall of Fame. Here are the lyrics. The video is below the lyrics.

 Yeah, you can be the greatest
You can be the best
You can be the King Kong banging on your chest

You could beat the world
You could beat the war
You could talk to God, go banging on his door

You can throw your hands up
You can beat the clock (yeah)
You can move a mountain
You can break rocks
You can be a master
Don't wait for luck
Dedicate yourself and you gon' find yourself

Standing in the hall of fame (yeah)
And the world's gonna know your name (yeah)
'Cause you burn with the brightest flame (yeah)
And the world's gonna know your name (yeah)
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame

You can go the distance
You can run the mile
You can walk straight through hell with a smile

You could be the hero
You could get the gold
Breaking all the records they thought never could be broke

Yeah, do it for your people
Do it for your pride
How you ever gonna know if you never even try?

Do it for your country
Do it for your name
'Cause there's gonna be a day...

When you're standing in the hall of fame (yeah)
And the world's gonna know your name (yeah)
'Cause you burn with the brightest flame (yeah)
And the world's gonna know your name (yeah)
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame

Be a champion, be a champion, be a champion, be a champion
On the walls of the hall of fame

Be students
Be teachers
Be politicians
Be preachers
(Yeah)

Be believers
Be leaders
Be astronauts
Be champions
Be truth seekers

Be students
Be teachers
Be politicians
Be preachers

Be believers
Be leaders
Be astronauts
Be champions

Standing in the hall of fame (yeah, yeah, yeah)
And the world's gonna know your name (yeah, yeah, yeah)
'Cause you burn with the brightest flame (yeah, yeah, yeah)
And the world's gonna know your name (yeah, yeah, yeah)
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame

(You can be a champion)
You could be the greatest
(You can be a champion)
You can be the best
(You can be a champion)
You can be the King Kong banging on your chest

(You can be a champion)
You could beat the world
(You can be a champion)
You could beat the war
(You can be a champion)
You could talk to God, go banging on his door

(You can be a champion)
You can throw your hands up
(You can be a champion)
You can beat the clock(yeah)
(You can be a champion)
You can move a mountain
(You can be a champion)
You can break rocks

(You can be a champion)
You can be a master
(You can be a champion)
Don't wait for luck
(You can be a champion)
Dedicate yourself and you gonna find yourself
(You can be a champion)

Standing in the hall of fame

And here's the video...



I'm going through some trying times at work right now and am looking for any kind of inspiration to help me work through this time. One of my philosophies in life is: when I'm not sure how to proceed, throw enough darts at the dartboard and some of them will stick. That is, try enough methods to work myself out of a situation and some of them will work.

Here is where I want to link to the tag of the past times I've discussed some of my other life philosophies, but I see that I have not previously created that link. In the future, I will come back to this post and rectify that. I'll leave this tag for now.

The Script's lyrics and especially the video reminded me of a 1982 Rush song called Losing It. Both songs involve ballerinas - and making a live change. In the Rush song, the ballerina is defeated. In the Script's song, she is not.

The lyrics to Rush's Losing It (with the video following)...

The dancer slows her frantic pace
In pain and desperation
Her aching limbs and downcast face
Aglow with perspiration

Stiff as wire, her lungs on fire
With just the briefest pause
The flooding through her memory
The echoes of old applause

She limps across the floor
And closes her bedroom door...

The writer stare with glassy eyes
Defies the empty page
His beard is white, his face is lined

And streaked with tears of rage

Thirty years ago, how the words would flow
With passion and precision
But now his mind is dark and dulled
By sickness and indecision

And he stares out the kitchen door
Where the sun will rise no more...

Some are born to move the world
To live their fantasies
But most of us just dream about
The things we'd like to be
Sadder still to watch it die
Than never to have known it
For you, the blind who once could see
The bell tolls for thee... 

And the most representative video...



My point is that adversity is universal. By zeroing in on one example - the life of a ballet dancer shown in two different songs - we see that there is potential for different outcomes.

We make the decisions. We make the choices. We rule our life.

I read Marc and Angel Hack Life regularly. Their post entitled 5 False Beliefs That Are Holding You Back works with my theme, especially their retort #3 (I am stuck in my current life situation.) and #4 (It's too late to start anything.)

A List of Lists

Constant Readers - to borrow an expression from Stephen King - of my blog know that I love lists.

Click here for past posts tagged with that term.

Today, I was perusing some websites that I frequent when I realized that a few of them were sites about lists. Apparently, even the sites I visit are related to lists. That's how much I like lists.

Which brings me to today's topic: A listing of sites that I like that show lists or...

A List of Lists

Ultimate Classic Rock -
Featuring such lists as:
Top 10 Songs of 1977
Top 10 AC/DC Songs (we agree on three of the choices)
Top 100 Classic Rock Songs

11 Points -
featuring such lists as:
11 Studies That Prove Christmas and Science Mix Wonderfully
11 Wonderfully Misspelled Messages of Anger and Bigotry
11 Very Unfortunate Mistakes on TV News Graphics
11 Magazines with Surprisingly High or Low Circulations (and a bonus point for illustrating each magazine with a Sally Field cover)

Marc and Angel Hack Life -
featuring such lists as:
8 Things You Must Give Up To Find Peace
10 Lessons from 10 Quotes that Changed My Life
10 Things Your Friends Wish You Knew
10 Life Lessons People Learn Too Late


 Those are the ones for today. I'll have a Part II another day.

Paul

To quote a part of my November 25, 2010 blog post:

In my generation, we have 13 cousins. At 43, I am the second oldest. The first five of us are very close in age and grew up together.

My 41-year-old cousin Paul, the youngest of us five, has been battling colon and liver cancer for the last six months or so.

In person, via email and via Caring Bridge, he keeps us updated on his condition.

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I am now 45; Paul is now 43. He is still battling color and liver cancer. From what I have heard, but not from him because he doesn't like to discuss it, he is regularly going to MD Anderson as well as getting treatment here in New Orleans.

While his mom - my Aunt Barbara - was going through the final stages of hospice, her four kids watched over her. She was staying at my cousin David's house, but passed while Paul was watching over her. (David and his wife Becki were out of town for the Easter weekend.)

Here is Paul's Caring Bridge update, posted today -  three weeks to the day since his mom died: 

It’s been over two weeks since the death of my mother, and I think that I may now have enough clarity on the event to sit down and write.  I once said of my cancer and the ensuing events, that it brought no epiphanies to my life and its purpose.  I experienced no parting of the clouds with a booming voice of instructions or recurring dream that clearly showed me the way.  I had not expected such events, so the lack thereof brought no disappointment.  What the tragedy of my mother and my cancer ordeal has revealed is that we are all innately prepared to deal with adversity. The choice to use this ability is solely our own. This fact was once again confirmed by my mother spending her last two months of life under the constant loving care of my brother and sister-in-law. Without a moment’s hesitation they took on tasks and duties that 6 months ago they would have flatly denied having the capacity to handle.  It is this capacity that separates us and defines our character.  It seems to be a tailored opinion that we would fail to rise to an adverse situation, but it is my conviction that it is our nature that overrules our conditioning. 

I will say only a few things about the actual passing of my mother and what I have taken from that experience. I guess my most powerful emotion would be how natural death is. The actual moment of her passing felt so right and so peaceful that you could feel nothing but relief. The body is an amazing machine that wants to live and will fight so hard to do so, but there was a defining moment around 2:00 in the morning where her death was imminent and her body just didn’t want to let go. It was when I felt the most pain for her fight. I just wanted it to be over. I wanted her body to let her die and free her of this suffering. Two hours later her struggling calmed and her breathing settled to almost normal. It was a moment I will never forget. The room went from one of torture and anguish to stark silence. She was gone and there was such an emotion of rightness about it all. 

As a families go, I could not be more proud to belong to such a group of people. Aunts, Uncles, cousins and friends all took part in the last two months of my mom’s life. Mom got to see how much she was loved and experienced how she affected so many. We celebrated her life with a crawfish boil and blaring Cajun music. We all cried a little but laughing is so much easier. There are times when I pass by her number on my phone and wish that she would have left a greeting that I could listen too but Mom was not the most technically gifted person in the world, and I’ll just have to settle for the number. I miss the little things most and those are the hardest because they can’t be anticipated. They pop-up on me like a shiver and demand a moment of reflection.  She was the only Mom I will ever have, and I was lucky enough to tell her so.

-----------------------------

During our Memorial Crawfish Boil, many members of our family stood up to speak about Barbara. Here is Paul's contribution...



 --------------------------

Barbara is gone but not forgotten. Let's now work toward that same sentence not be about Paul...

Aunt Barbara

My Aunt Barbara died late last night. Brain Cancer.

A month or so ago, she was moved to my cousin David and his wife Becki's house. David and Becki left for Monroe yesterday afternoon, for a short Easter vacation. My cousin Paul and his wife Sarah took over the vigil over Barbara.

Email at 5:08 am this morning from Paul:
Mom has passed. Thank you to everyone. I'm so proud to belong to this family. I'm just so grateful of how this tragedy was met.

Email at 5:34 am this morning from Paul:
P.S. You may want to think twice before asking Sarah and I to baby-parent sit. Obviously we are not very good at it.

Our family is great a laughing through the tears.

------------------------------

Posted by my sister Claudia on Facebook last night:

 -------------------------

Let me take all this in and I may post more about it later.

News Article: The Weinstein Company Will Release 'Bully' Unrated

The Weinstein Company will release the film Bully unrated on March 30 after the MPAA refused to budge on its 'R' rating on the film, according to a press release received by Movieline:

Furthering proof that the R rating for some language is inappropriate for a film that’s meant to educate and help parents, teachers, school officials and children with what’s become an epidemic in schools around the country, the fight against the rating continues on. The outpour of support by politicians, schools, parents, celebrities and activists for the film’s mission to be seen by those it was made for – children – has been overwhelming. Nearly half a million people have signed Michigan high school student and former bullying victim Katy Butler’s petition on Change.org to urge the MPAA to lower the rating.

Said BULLY Director Lee Hirsch, “The small amount of language in the film that’s responsible for the R rating is there because it’s real. It’s what the children who are victims of bullying face on most days. All of our supporters see that, and we’re grateful for the support we’ve received across the board. I know the kids will come, so it’s up to the theaters to let them in.”

It will be up to movie theaters to decide whether or not to let minors see it.

Here's the trailer to the film...

FU Cancer

My Dad has been battling prostate cancer since right before Katrina (2005). The doctors removed his prostate in October 2005 and supposedly the cancer with it. His cancer returned about a year ago. He currently gets treatment five days a week.

He says, "I guess cancer doesn't grow on the weekends or holidays. And apparently you don't need a prostate to have prostate cancer."

My Dad is 76, but is quite active. I realize that I'm going to lose him soon-ish, but am not ready for that day yet.

My cousin Paul - three years younger than I am - has been battling colon and liver cancer for over three years. The doctors keep giving him a positive diagnosis - and then the cancer spreads or comes back. He's 41 years old. 41. He says that if this fifth regiment of treatment doesn't work, he's giving up. We don't believe him - and I really don't hope he's serious.

My aunt Barbara - Paul's mom, and my Mom's younger (66-year-old) sister - has been battling brain cancer for the last year. Her PET scan came back two weeks ago: The cancer has spread throughout her body. Her doctor says that she has single digit months to live. She is living with my cousin David - a doctor - and his gorgeous, patient wife Becki on the Northshore for now. The day before Mardi Gras (three days ago), however, she was admitted to the hospital for an irregular heartbeat. She was moved from the ICU to the "regular" hospital on Wednesday afternoon.

Carlos and I visited with Barbara on Ash Wednesday, while she was still in ICU. She is still Barbara, but we can tell that she is beginning to forget things: A physical therapist stopped in while we were visiting. While attempting to answer questions, Barbara sometimes deferred to Becki. Sample question: "How do you exercise daily?" Barbara wasn't sure and looked toward Becki for the answer.

Another update another day. I have more to add to this story, but I'm angry and upset right now - so have to move on.

Tourist In Your Own Town - 2011

For the 5th year in a row, Carlos and I spent a long weekend (the first weekend in October) playing tourist in the New Orleans French Quarter.

Here is a link to all our past adventures.

This year's theme was Live Music, though we ignored the theme once we arrived.

As we have the past three years, we stayed at my parent’s bed and breakfast. I keep lobbying for us to stay at a proper hotel as we did the first year, but Carlos likes the family aspect.

I live strolling through the French Market. Carlos loves taking the streetcar. We both love eating out and movies. 

I am definitely not a food writer and I have forgotten most of what we actually ate, but I do remember my general feeling about the food and the restaurant - so here's a description of our weekend guided by our food choices.

 

Friday Lunch

The Gumbo Shop

C+

I had the Chicken and Andouille Sausage Gumbo to see if it was better than what I cook. It wasn’t. We have traditionally started off our Tourist Weekend here, but I think we’ll find a new tradition. If I can cook gumbo better than a place called The Gumbo Shop, it's time for us to move on.

Friday Dinner

Mojitos Rum Bar& Grill

B+

Better than we thought it would be. I think we pre-judged the place because it has changed names so many times over the years. The outside courtyard was packed, with everyone listening to the band. We ended up inside, which was sparsely filled. Very nice.

 

Saturday Breakfast

Croissant d’OrPatisserie

B

We arrived a little before 9 am. By 9:15, there was a serious line out the door – and limited seating. If you want to eat here, go early. Carlos, Jason, Brandon and I are going to Paris for a week for Thanksgiving. When I return, I'll re-judge this place against the best Patisseries in the world.

Saturday Lunch

Mona Lisa Pizza

A

Pie and Slice are my top two pizza places in the city, but Mona Lisa is a close third.

Saturday Dinner

Drago’s Seafood Restaurant

Charbroiled Oysters: A+

Everything else in our meal: C-

Carlos had the Shrimp and Grits with Tasso. I had the Shuckee Duckee: "Blackened duck breast over linguini pasta with oysters and cream sauce". We both ate about 1/4 of our main dishes and later on tossing the To Go boxes. This is another Tourist Weekend tradition that we’re going to change next year.

Sunday Breakfast

El Gato Negro

A

A wonderful new tradition. The rating is for the El Gato Negro in the French Quarter, not the one on Harrison Avenue. I have heard that location is terrible.

 

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Our Other Activities

Friday Night Movie

50/50

B+

Though I thought it would be more of a comedy. Carlos’s response: “It’s about a guy getting cancer. How funny did you think it would be?”

My thinking is a bit shallow, but I don't follow Joseph Gordon-Levitt as an actor because I don't think he's cute.

I have to respect his talent, however, because he's starred in some of my favorite movies:

Inception

(500) Days of Summer

Brick (still one of my all-time favorite movies - I sat Jason and Carlos through it one New Year's Eve a few years ago during our night of "Everyone bring the best movie/TV show right now you want to share".) I still agree with my decision.

Mysterious Skin

Latter Days (one of the best ever gay-themed movies)

Spice and Tea Exchange of New Orleans

A+

A huge selection of spices and teas. 

I bought:

Black Chocolate Tea (my favorite)

Green Tropical Tea 

Tuscany Blend

Vik's Garlic Fix

Pesto Blend

Plus the sales guy was cute.

Presbytere Museum: Katrina Exhibit

A+

This was Carlos's idea. We both museums. He saw the promotion for this exhibit during last year's trip.

Of course, we both lived through Katrina so it was very moving.We spent nearly three hours watching the videos and looking at the photos. It's definitely a must see!

Santa’s Quarters

A

I bought Purple, Green and Gold ornaments for two people on my Christmas list. This business has been around since the 1980's. With such a niche marketing idea, I don't understand how, but if you're in New Orleans - no matter what season - it's definitely worth the stop.

--------------------------

We also stopped at numerous art galleries on Royal Street. I'm always looking for wall art. But none of their wares struck me. Maybe next year.

We also spent a couple of hours perusing the French Market along Decatur Street - both on Saturday afternoon, before waiting for the Riverfront Streetcar to go to Drago's and then again Sunday morning after breakfast. I bought presents for my cousin Casie - I picked her name in this year's family gift giving - and my brother-in-law Jeff. Casie lives in Austin and Jeff lives in Atlanta. I bought them gifts to remind them of New Orleans.

By the time Carlos and I left Sunday afternoon, our stomachs were full and our wallets were empty.

I feel that's a great way to give back to my city.

New Orleans. Proud To Call It Home.

Carlos wants to move our Tourist Town weekends to the spring so we're going to skip October 2012 and have Tourist In Own Town VI in March 2013.

Stay tuned.

What My Mother Told Me

In honor of Mother's Day this past Sunday, here are the
Top Nine Things My Mother Has Told Me Over The Years.



1. "No one is looking at you. They are all too concerned about themselves." That thought has helped me countless times over the years. About a stain. About my tripping. About wearing the "wrong" outfit to a party. Her message: Be yourself.

2. From nine years old onward: "Go outside and play. There's nothing to do inside. But be home when the street lights come on." Growing up, our neighborhood was filled with kids. We loved to play Kick the Can, Capture the Flag - in a 12 block by 13 block area - Baseball, Kickball, and Football, among other games. (Carlos hears my stories about the games we played in the streets as a kid and pictures us growing up poor.) Thanks to our older friend Doris who organized them, we even put on three full-production plays (including building the stage) in her back yard.

3. When my sister Christine and I were both young kids (each under seven), my Dad would hang out at Robert's Bar after work. Most nights, after a couple of hours, my Mom and us two kids would drive to the bar. Mom would coach Christine and I with the exact words, and send us in: "Daddy. When are you coming home?" Tears in our eyes were encouraged by Mom. I didn't understand the concept at the time, but my Dad certainly did. He came right home.

4. To me at 11 years old: "Don't tell your swim coach you have an upset stomach. This will be the only time you'll be able to go to Disney World for $100 [via the JCC Swim Team]." Three hours into the bus trip, I vomited all over myself, my clothes, and my seat mate. My swim coach called my mom and was PISSED - but the rest of my first trip to Disney World was fantastic.

5. When I graduated from college, after having worked for Kinko's for almost five years and having turned down a post-graduation job offer from them, I went to work for a Marketing company - my major. After the first day, I came home crestfallen: It was cold call selling of direct mail advertising. I hated it and felt like a failure. Still living at home right after graduation, the morning of my second day, I was ironing my pants getting ready for work - with tears in my eyes. Mom said: "You don't want to go? Don't go. Call them now so you'll get their answering machine. Then don't look back. Call Kinko's. Tell them that you feel bad that you left them in the lurch about the position they offered you and that you have changed your mind. Don't beg for your job. Spin it that you're doing them a favor." I took her advice and was working for Kinko's again that afternoon. I stayed for 10 years.

5. "Do what you love. The money will follow." I have followed that advice since I have started working. My Freshman year in college, I loved music and radio, and wanted to be a DJ on my college radio station - and auditioned to be a DJ. I got a shitty shift, but worked my way up to create The Birdman and Poker Show in Prime Time Tuesday nights. I was also picked by the Station Manager my Sophomore year to be the Program Director of the station. By my Junior year, the Media Council elected me Station Manager - complete with a full college scholarship (room, board, tuition and books!).

6. "I'm shy." My mother has always claimed to be an introvert, though having practiced for many years appearing as an extrovert. Most people who know her don't believe it. I always have - because I understand the base of what she means and that's what I aspire to also. She has always reminded me of Carol Burnett. Carlos says that this video clip is a perfect representation of her personality.

Carol Burnett from "Once Upon A Mattress"...



or Carol Burnett's version from 1964...



7. "Of course you are my favorite. Don't tell your sisters." Growing up, my two sisters and I all felt that we were the favorite child. We know now that there is no Sophie's Choice. Each child is the favorite. Each child is special. Each child is different. Each child is his/her own person - and was rewarded and encouraged toward his/her own path. And all three of us realize how hard that is to pull off by a parent.

8. "You're gay? Oh. Okay." I came out to her around July 2008 - when I was 41. I know. I know. I was old. [A long post on all that soon.] As you know, the opening line is crucial. Mine was, "You like Carlos, right? Well...He and I are more than friends." She was as cool about it as all my friends said for years she would be about it. I should have told her when I was 10.

9. "Carlos wants to buy a house? I'll be his real estate agent." For a year. The two of them - only, without me - traveled the city in search of the perfect house for Carlos. In the meantime, my boyfriend and my Mom bonded. Without me. Invaluable.

Atlanta Trip

My sister Christine and I travel to Atlanta once a year to visit our younger (35 years old) sister Claudia - and her husband and three kids (currently 6, 4 and 2).

Christine and I remark that we're not actually going to Atlanta for three days, but to Claudia's Backyard. This is my third year going (and Christine's fifth), and the furthest we have gotten into Atlanta is to Cosco three miles away to buy groceries. The rest of the time, we are playing with the kids - soccer, baseball, pushing them on the swing, drawing on the ground with chalk, playing in the sandbox, and repeat. For three solid days.



Our schedule is usually get up with the kids at 7 am, eat and relax until 9, play in the yard until noon, naps for all until 3, play until 5, eat then baths and bed at 7. We call Claudia Nazi Mama. She has the kids on such a tight schedule, but the kids love the structure.

All three siblings in my generation are very structured. We think it comes from our parents: They never gave us any structure (no rules, no curfews, and so on) growing up. We think we're compensating for it in our adulthood.

------------------------

Tangent:
When we were growing up, our parents had three rules for us kids:
1. You couldn't smoke in the house unless you had a friend over.
2. You couldn't go out on school nights - unless you were going to the library.
3. You couldn't have the car out overnight.

We never had a curfew, but usually came home at a reasonable hour because all of our friends had curfews.

------------------------

After the kids are asleep at 7, the three of us (plus Claudia's husband if he is home from work) retire to the back porch for wine and conversation. All three nights (Friday, Saturday and Sunday), we stayed up way too late for a morning that we had to face those kids.

But us adults were having such fun. Because Claudia lives in Atlanta and Christine and I live in New Orleans, we rarely have the opportunity to sit and catch up. Whenever I talk with Claudia (or Christine), it feels like we are picking up a conversation we just dropped - though it may have been six months prior.

I probably I don't discuss my sisters enough here (especially Claudia), but they're very important to me. I am very proud of them and, though all three of us are quite different, am glad that our friendships have evolved nicely into adulthood.

Life

To Consider...

Thanksgiving

In my generation, we have 13 cousins. At 43, I am the second oldest. The first five of us are very close in age and grew up together.

My 41-year-old cousin Paul, the youngest of us five, has been battling colon and liver cancer for the last six months or so.

In person, via email and via Caring Bridge, he keeps us updated on his condition. Since today is Thanksgiving, I wanted to share with you his most recent communication. You’ll see that he is quite a good writer – and tries to keep his humor about the situation.

All right…all right, I’m back in the game. Today was the big pow wow with Dr. Griffin, and the unknowns are now known and on the books.

To back-up a bit and get you on the right page, I had a CT scan last Tuesday, because they hadn’t taken a look at my toenail on my left pinky toe. Well we got it, and now they can digitally recreate every pore in my body. The CT came back favorably, and we are now describing the size of the liver lesions in mm rather than cm.

As usual, the colon doctor didn’t trust the tested and proven CT to determine his prognosis, and I’m sore again. The really good news is that I’m scheduled for surgery on December 10 at Tulane Hospital. I am first in line for the day, which, like flying, is where you want to be. Funny, the similarities these days between flying and colorectal cancer.

Anyway, the colon surgeon should go first and re-connect my plumbing and then the liver surgeon. Sad to say, but we really don’t know what his plan is for the liver. I guess I’ll wake up with a surprise. Regardless, I’m very excited about making progress toward the end of the surgeries and getting to the next stage, whatever that is.

I will be in the hospital for 2 days, which would mean I will be out by Sunday if all goes well. Both procedures are laparoscopic this time, so recovery should be nothing like the first surgery. I assume that I will have more scans after the surgery and take those results to the Medical Oncologist to see what’s behind the next curtain. As I have stated before--through gnashed teeth--I want the second chemo regimen. I want to go through this just one time, and I will do what I need to do to achieve that goal.

All is well on the home front. We are heading to Shreveport tomorrow evening to spend Thanksgiving with Sarah’s family. I am looking forward to getting out of town for a few days and relaxing. I genuinely feel good and have had no other major incidents with my special friend [his colostomy bag]; however, I will be burning the bulk of my clothes once this is over. Oh, and after the surgery I’ll have some fancy balloons available for any birthday party or bar mitzvah. I have been itching to start jogging again but have learned from a reliable source that sweat and the adhesive on my apparatus do not work well together. Jogging can wait.

I hope you are all doing exactly what you want to do this Thanksgiving. In my family, all Thanksgiving attendees must write on a little piece of paper what they are thankful for and place it in a basket. After we dine the contents of the basket are read aloud and everyone tries to guess who submitted the entry. It’s funny, touching, sometimes sad, but always meaningful. I will not be there this year, so here’s what I’m thankful for: I am thankful to be alive. I am thankful that my body has reacted so well to treatment. I am thankful that I have such wonderful people around me who support and love me. I am thankful for doctors who have torn me up and are putting me back together. I am thankful for the quiet strength that I receive from my wife and children. I am thankful for being treated normally and not like I’m a piece of thin blown glass. I am thankful for the opportunity to kick this thing in the ass, turn around, and attack the rest of my life.

I printed out Paul’s Thankful For submission and slipped it into this year’s basket. We all had a good cry.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.

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Some Thanksgiving quotes:


If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get.
- Frank A. Clark

Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action.
- W.J. Cameron

An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
- Irv Kupcinet

There is one day that is ours. There is one day when all we Americans who are not self-made go back to the old home to eat saleratus biscuits and marvel how much nearer to the porch the old pump looks than it used to. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.
- O. Henry

On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence.
- William Jennings Bryan

Thanksgiving is America's national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.
- Michael Dresser

Forever on Thanksgiving Day
The heart will find the pathway home.
- Wilbur D. Nesbit

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.
- Cicero

And though I ebb in worth, I'll flow in thanks.
- John Taylor

Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.
- Aesop

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you?"
- William A. Ward

Tourist In Your Own Town - 2010

Once a year, Carlos and I spend a weekend in the New Orleans French Quarter, doing all the activities that tourists do. We’re tourists in our home town.

Our theme this year was “Eat, Drink, Be Merry…and Shop”. I researched many choices in all those categories. Once our weekend began, we virtually ignored my list.

We arrived at The Little Yellow House Bed and Breakfast (next door to my parent’s house) around 1 pm, and promptly walked past Port of Call. Our plan was to eat there, but the line was too long. (That ended up being that restaurant’s theme all weekend.) We ate at The Gumbo Shop. We each had Gumbo as our appetizer (though different types of Gumbo). I had the Catfish St. Peter – a special of the day. It was catfish with some kind of rich sauce that included shrimp. (I’ll have to hunt around for the recipe.) Carlos also had a catfish dish, though his was not nearly as good.

We then wandered through the Quarter, stopping in many shops and finally the French Market. I saw some local themed trivets that I wanted to buy but didn’t want to carry around. I should have bought them then: The booth disappeared after Friday.

After a quick rest at the B&B, we ate dinner with my parents at Marigny Brasserie. The service was slow and the food was underwhelming. My friend Cherie tells me – in the blog post here that she and my friend Steve run – that the place has gone down over the years. I can attest to that.

Our parents went to a fundraiser for Uganda (a random reason for a fundraiser, we thought) at Café Rose Nicaud, between Marigny Brasserie and Snug Harbor, while Carlos and I wandered down Frenchman Street. We stopped in the Faubourg Marigny Art and Books store, browsed through the porn and both bought Superman Fleur de Lis t-shirts. After looking in on a few other clubs down Frenchman, we ended up at Balcony Music Club for a drink.

Then home to bed.

Saturday morning, I was up early, letting Carlos sleep in. My mom and dad were in the driveway. My dad was going to work for awhile and my mom was walking down to Café Rose Nicaud for coffee, as she does every Saturday morning. She and I first walked to the French Market (again in search of trivets). Then met some more locals for coffee. Carlos joined us.

Laury, the friend of my parents who lives in the south of France and who we visited during our October 2007 trip, was there. We caught up with her and her adventures. She works in New Orleans two months a year and lives in France the other 10 months. I want her job!

Carlos and I then took the Riverfront Streetcar all the way down to near the World War II museum. (If we ever end up living down in Marigny, I could take that to work every day. Ahhhh, to dream. I don’t think I could convince Carlos to live in that area of town.) We had already seen the actual museum; we were there to see the new movie – Beyond Boundaries. The movie was interactive in that it was projected on a huge screen, our seats shook, smoke and mist came at us, and objects were raised and lowered at appropriate times. It was amazing!

I picked up a WWII t-shirt at the gift shop (more spending!) and then we raced over to our 2 pm reservation at the New Orleans School of Cooking for a cooking class. The highlight of last year’s Tourist Weekend was the cooking class. We had found out the previous day that there were actually two classes offered. We immediately signed up!

This year’s class consisted of more New Orleans history woven through the cooking of Shrimp and Artichoke Soup, Crawfish Etouffee, and more Pralines. (The school demonstrates Pralines during every class.) If you are ever looking for something to do in New Orleans, I highly recommend these cooking classes. They’re $22, last about two hours, and you get to eat your results.

I will post the recipes for both main dishes in my next post.

With our bellies full, we wandered around the Quarter a bit, ending up at Canal Place Cinema – now called The Theatres at Canal Place. We saw the 6:10 showing of The Town, but were going really just to experience the updated set up.

The overall experience was very elegant. Since we arrived almost an hour early, Carlos and I bought our reserved seats (for $12 each), had a drink at the bar, and chatted with the very friendly staff. Once the time came for the movie, we leisurely bought our popcorn from the counter and took our seats. We could have ordered our popcorn - or anything from the extensive menu - from our seats merely by pushing a button between us, but we wanted to save the automatic 18% service charge.

Downside...
The lights in the theatre were on the entire time. I thought because the servers needed to see the patrons. When relating this to others who have been to this theatre, they told me that they think that someone forgot to turn the lights off. During the course of the movie, there were at least 20 trips by servers into the theatre. I don't think it was an accident. If you want to actually watch the movie you are paying for without any distractions, The Theatres at Canal Place are NOT the place to go.

Walking down Decatur back to our B&B, we saw Ami – of “Travis & Ami”, who got married in my parent’s backyard back in 2002 (?) – walking to a bar on Decatur to “do her show called Fire and Ice”. Apparently she is a fire twirler in her spare time.

We ended up getting some late night food at La Peniche and eating it in our B&B.

Then to bed.

Sunday, I again awoke early and again walked down to the French Market. Still no trivets, but I did buy some very nice smelling candles. When I returned, Carlos and I had breakfast with my mom and dad, recapping our weekend.

My co-worker Karen asked me about my favorite meal during the weekend. I guess it was the Catfish St. Peter, but no meal really stood out for me. For a city known for food, we must not have covered the correct restaurants. We’ll have to concentrate on that more next year.

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Details on 2007 trip

Details on 2008 trip

Details on 2009 trip

Tourist In Your Own Town - 2010 (Preview)

This past weekend, Carlos and I had our Fourth Annual Tourist In Your Own Town weekend. I am working on a detailed post of our adventures. Coming very soon.

Meanwhile, I wanted to post this one short piece of information. He and I saw a movie at the new, improved Canal Place Cinema, uh, The Theatres at Canal Place. Carlos recognized an actor eating at the lounge area while we were getting a drink at the bar. Neither of us could remember his name. I did manage to get a (blurry, bad angle) picture of him.

Does anyone recognize this actor?



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Details on 2007 trip

Details on 2008 trip

Details on 2009 trip

Prank Call

Dear Prank Caller:

I don't appreciate your calling my cell phone at 3 am Friday morning - three times - with your two drunk friends. I don't appreciate your filling up my voice mail with witty banter like, "We were going to prank call you once, but had to call back. You sound like a faggot on your voice mail. FAGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOTTTTTT."

I do appreciate that you are too stupid to realize that, thanks to caller ID, I have your cell phone number. I do appreciate that you would actually post your cell phone number on your MySpace page, which I found easily via Google.

I wanted to let you know that you are your friends are not "niggas" because you are a 19-year-old white kid from Boutte, LA. I wanted to let you know that you really shouldn't post your full name and home address on MySpace.

I am glad to see that you have other hobbies besides prank calling strangers at 3 am - namely bass fishing and making videos of you riding your (too small for you) bike in your backyard. Keep up the good work.

Sincerely,

The one who will post all your personal information here if you ever call again.

9th Anniversary

Carlos and I met online through AOL Personals near the beginning of March 2001. Neither of us remembers who answered whose ad.

We chatted via email and IM’s for a couple of weeks, trading information and pictures. We quickly realized that we had a lot in common – including our friend Vincent.


We agreed to meet in person on Saturday, March 24, 2001 at Lakeview Harbor, a local restaurant known for their great hamburgers. The restaurant was my suggestion; I had gone there a few times with Lloyd, who used to work across the street at Coral Reef Pet Shop.

We met that night and really hit it off. At the end of the night, we agreed to meet again the next night at the Prytania Theatre. It was showing the Academy Awards, which we both loved, on the big screen.

The following night, Monday, we were discussing that we wanted to eat dinner together, but couldn’t decide the location. I mentioned that I usually did laundry and drank beer (with John) on Mondays – and asked Carlos if he would like to go with us. He readily agreed. I suggested that we eat at Taco Bell beforehand. He told me years later that was when he knew that we were meant for each other. He could tell that I was as down to earth as he was.

Carlos and I have been together ever since. Nine years this past Wednesday. Every year on March 24, we have dinner at Lakeview Harbor and reminisce about our past – and plan our future.

Me . Age 10.

Me. Age 10.

One of my all-time-favorite pictures of me.

I'll update this post soon with the details behind the picture. (Preview: Note the scabs on my face - and the uneven bangs.)

Goals for the New Year

I usually don't make any goals for the new year, but I did write some down this year. I'll look back at this post in January 2011.

Besides the usual goals like "get out of debt" and "lose 20 pounds", I have these:

1) Do something cultural at least once a month. Some upcoming events:
The Beatles LOVE by Cirque Du Soleil - In Las Vegas
NPR's Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me Live
David Sedaris Live

2) Take a cooking class at Delgado Community College (as I did about 10 years ago).

3) Volunteer at WRBH - Radio for the Blind and Print Handicapped. This one has actually been on my To Do list for a couple of years.

4) Reconnect with old high school and college friends - Scott, Todd, Wild Bill, Drifter, Sean, Kevin, etc. Facebook makes that easier and easier.

Tourist In Your Own Town – 2009

Carlos and I planned our third annual Tourist in Your Own Town weekend for a recent December 2009 weekend. It turns out that it was one of the worst weekends weather-wise and health-wise, but sometimes that is what makes for the best memories.


We arrived Friday afternoon to my parent’s Bed and Breakfast (left photo) to 40 degree weather. After unpacking, we had a late lunch at Port of Call. Then we walked around the French Quarter, to the Aquarium, the Riverwalk, stopped in a few hotels to see the decorations, finally ending up at The Mint for an exhibit on money and technology of the 1800’s. On the way home, we stopped at a small supermarket in the Quarter to pick up some sausage and bell peppers to add to the Jambalaya mix that I had brought from home. We cooked a big pot of Jambalaya and settled down on the couch the rest of the evening.

Saturday morning, we woke up to more cold and the threat of rain. We didn’t care; we had a 10 am cooking class at the New Orleans School of Cooking. There were 67 people in the class so we didn’t actually cook, though we did eat the food. (I guess a better description would be a cooking demonstration.) I highly recommend the class – for tourists or natives of New Orleans. Make sure you get Chef Michael as your instructor. He cooked four items: Chicken and Andouille Sausage Gumbo, Jambalaya, Bread Pudding, and Pralines. As he created each dish, he wove the history of New Orleans into his preparation. For example, as he added okra to the Gumbo, he discussed that it is believed that okra first reached the New World during the days of slave trafficking. Then he discussed slavery in New Orleans.

After the class, Carlos and I walked through the rain down Frenchmen Street to Mona’s for some takeout food. We had planned to go out when the rain subsided, but the rain only got worse. Plus we both had terrible chest colds. We bundled up on the couch, turned on the TV, ate our food and napped all afternoon and evening. It was nice to just cuddle up under the covers. Carlos did, however, have to go out in the pouring rain at one point to move his car. The water was creeping up his tires and he was afraid that the water would get into his car.

Sunday, we got up early and ate breakfast at La Peniche, a couple of blocks from my parent's B&B. Then headed home.
This year’s Tourist in Your Hometown weekend had definitely the least amount of adventure, but it was still quite memorable.

Here’s a link to past year’s weekends:

2007

2008

Work Update

I am the head of a local university's printing department. Our sales have been sluggish. All of the departments have cut back. When their budget has been cut, they find that they can do without business cards, for example, for their staff. Here is an email exchange between my boss and me today.

Boss: I want you to take a hard look at your staffing level. With the major reduction in business how much excess labor capacity do you think you have? I may look at shifting employees percent efforts.

Me: Is “shifting employees percent efforts” code for moving employees from our department into another one? I foresaw the business reduction back in September. Remember at that time you and I talked about trying to really promote the other areas of our business, and to cultivate an additional base of customers? Let me think about it over the weekend and I’ll stop in on Monday.

Boss: It could be code for moving somebody on a temporary basis anywhere from 10% to 100% depending on need or no need. Any permanent shifts would require longer term analysis. If your November is your January, February and March what would you say?

Me: I do have some ideas. Let me really think about it this weekend and get with you Monday morning.

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This economy really needs to get better. Quick! I really don't want to lose any of my staff. Ugh.

Emails From Crazy People

My friend Vincent sent me a link to the site Emails From Crazy People. I think I will submit one that I received recently.

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Remember: Assume any email you send will be read by the entire world.


NOTE: The names have been changed to protect privacy, but the words are exactly as written. I have even left the punctuation and capitalization as I received it.


The Players (all of these are my family members) -
Abbey: Ronald’s wife (age 66)
Marie: Abbey/Mark’s sister (age 60)
Mark: Abbey/Marie’s brother, and Myra’s husband (age 63)
Myra: Mark’s wife (age 63)
Ronald: Abbey’s husband (age 73)
Craig: Mark and Myra’s oldest son (age 34)
Suzie: Craig’s girlfriend (age 33)
Annie: Mark and Myra’s youngest daughter (age 20)
Cameron: Annie’s boyfriend (age 22)
Garrett: Mark and Myra’s second oldest son (age 31)
Connie: Garrett’s wife (age 31)
Joseph: Mark and Myra’s third oldest son (age 28)

I know it’s probably hard to keep track if you don’t actually know these people, but the names don’t really matter.

Email from Marie to her sister Abbey, commenting on their brother Mark’s email: Get a load of Mark’s life!
with this email forwarded –

I think I have finally reached my limit as to the number of problems I can handle at once. Still putting in 10-12 hour days and falling increasingly behind. Then last week a critical person announced he has had enough so he is leaving which will mean even more work for the rest of us. Our landlord is give us a hassle about us moving out, so much so that I am having to go get a lawyer (Myra doesn’t know this yet). Myra still in therapy and in pain but getting better. Not making any progress on the lot. We have everyone pushed to the limit on the jobs to where tempers are flaring. My nose runs and my feet smell, and the only light in the tunnel is coming home to a nice home cooked meal and falling asleep in the recliner. I have missed the last 2 date nights but nice Myra still lets me date (I can only date people with the initials of MDM). With Craig and Suzie moving out into their new house, Annie wants Cameron to move in, which we are against, and she accuses me of having a double standard which I readily admit to but it doesn’t settle the argument. I keep telling her she can move into her own apartment at her own expense which usually settles the argument. Now she is bringing up security, safety, four eyes are better than two but I remind her of her grandmother’s (Myra’s mom) saying, “a stiff prick has no bounds” . Connie want babies but Garrett wants to finish his schooling so Myra wants to start her own bailout program with our retirement nest egg. Joseph is desperate for someone from his family to move over to the tri cities so Myra is looking at condos on line in that area and I have no idea how we would afford anything like that. Did I mention about the nose and feet? My typing sucks and my spelling is worse, thank goodness I don’t care.


The email was then forwarded from Abbey to Ronald, who replied back to Abbey and Mark:
Mark just remember this too will Pass but we will always love you and be with you in spirit try deep breathing Your old BROTHER IN law Ronald


Except that instead of forwarding the email to Mark, he inadvertently forwarded it to a distribution list of his that I had set up for him – that emailed our entire extended family.

Again, assume any email you send will be read by the entire world.

Our family is still laughing about this!