Thanksgiving 2008 Quotes

I spent five days in Atlanta for Thanksgiving, driving there with my sister Christine and her girlfriend Karlie.

Carlos stayed in New Orleans. (Melissa and Steve were in town.)

Here’s a snapshot of my trip via quotes.

“Karlie says that nothing goes in the back seat except for her.” Christine (the spokesperson for their relationship) to Carlos and me as we smashed my luggage in the trunk, while observing Karlie lounging in the back seat.

“That’s nothing but static. Please turn that off.” Karlie, expressing her feelings about what I was listening to on the radio as I was driving us back to New Orleans.

“You’re welcome to ride with me, but I’m not riding with y’all ever again. Your car has too many rules.” A future quote, whenever Karlie and Christine ask me to ride with them ever again.

“Go away, okay?” Eden, my niece (my sister Claudia’s two and a half year old daughter), carefully explaining to me that she doesn’t want me to be around her. She usually takes about three days to warm up to me. Then she and I bond.

“They have to let me in. I’m a Gay Breeder.” My parents live in Faubourg Marigny, an area of New Orleans that has the largest gay population in the city. My mom loves to swim. The closest swimming pool is a health club two blocks away, usually overrun by nude gay men. That doesn’t bother my mom at all, but my dad figures that they (“The Gays”) will be uncomfortable with my mom being there. My mom responded that she would have to play The Gay Card: “….I must be: two of my three kids are gay.”

Best Quote Ever.

Expert Witness

After my recent jury duty, I thought it would be years before I saw the inside of a courtroom again.

I was wrong.

Let me back up a bit. I have described my office in a little detail in the past. Here are some more. Our office handles all the printing for the entire university campus, including all the forms for the hospitals in our area. Pre-Katrina, I was the sole designer and typesetter of those forms, as well as managing the department that produced and distributed them.

Around campus, I was referred to as simply the Forms Guy. Our customers that have known me since then still refer to me as that, even though post-Katrina I have many additional duties.

As the Forms Guy, I receive regular emails from the hospital’s legal department, asking for copies of current and past versions of certain forms. (I keep on file every present and past version of all 1400+ active forms. I am the only one on campus that has this information.)

Last week, I received a request for a form, and sent it on. The next day, I received this email: “You may be called to court as an expert witness on our forms. Would you be available to discuss that?”

This past Monday, a lawyer for the hospital called me to ask me many detailed questions about a certain form. “How can you tell it’s an original and not a copy? Can you show that the form when sold has writing only on the front? Do you have examples of other forms that when sold are duplex?” And many, many other very specific questions about forms.

This past Tuesday, I was asked to testify in court at a civil trial (including a 12-person jury), and, after some questions about my job, its duties, and some other background information, I was sworn in as an expert witness.

I was on the stand for almost 30 minutes.

From what I can gather, a former patient was suing a doctor. The doctor had written some instructions about the patient on the back of a form that officially did not have a back. (That is, the form didn’t have lines on the back, nor “-front” at the bottom to signify that there was a “-back”.) The next shift at the hospital did not see the writing on the back and didn’t copy it. That missing information caused something to go wrong with the patient’s surgery.

I’m sure there are many more details, and I could have those details incorrect, but I only know about the case what I was told. I did not attend the beginning or the end of the trial. Only my part.

The hospital’s lawyer called me later Tuesday afternoon, leaving me this voicemail: “Thank you for your help today. I’m sorry the prosecuting lawyer was so harsh with you, but you handled him well. I will call you when the jury reaches a verdict. It’s nice to know you’re around. We may need you for future trials.”

She called me Wednesday. The doctor was found not guilty.

New Discovery: Girl Talk

Oddly enough, I found out about Girl Talk because the new CD was reviewed on National Public Radio last week.

Here is one of their songs...



Actually, I guess that would be "his" songs because it's just one guy. To read about Girl Talk, click here.

If you want to buy the new CD, click here.

Keith Olbermann on Gay Marriage

In a follow up to my Hallmark Corners Gay Marriage Card Market entry, my friend Michael sent me a link to a recent segment on Keith Olbermann's show.



It also fits in nicely with this older post of mine.

Thank you, Michael.

Thank you, Keith Olbermann.

A New Day

I'm very pleased with this morning's headlines!



For another side of Barack Obama, see my other blog.

News Story: Northwestern State suspends fraternity

This is the chapter of Kappa Sigma that I was at in the late 1980's. They were a bunch of rednecks back then too.



NATCHITOCHES – The Northwestern State University chapter of the Kappa Sigma fraternity has been suspended indefinitely by the university and the national office.

The move comes as NSU is asking the national office of Kappa Sigma to investigate actions of fraternity members at an off-campus party which took place Wednesday night.

Five members of the fraternity attending an auction were dressed in a racially offensive manner. Photos from the event were posted on the Web site Facebook.

The NSU chapter will not be allowed to have any official events until the investigation is completed. The investigation should be complete within two weeks.

“All of us at the university are disappointed in what appears to be poor judgment on the part of some fraternity members,” said Northwestern State President Dr. Randall J. Webb. “Our university embraces and promotes diversity and will not tolerate any actions or activities that jeopardize the climate of diversity and unity that exists at the university."

I have been trying unsuccessfully to find their Facebook page. I wonder what a "racially offensive manner" means.

My guess...



------------

Update: I found this forum - with over 250 entries - about the subject.

One Big Happy Nielsen Family

I have been chosen as a Nielsen Family this week (actually from Thursday, October 30 through Thursday, November 6). During that time, I am supposed to write down every TV show I watch at least 5 minutes of.

I considered trying to look smart and only writing down PBS and Discovery Channel stuff, or trying to promote our Gay Agenda and only writing down gay-themed shows. Ultimately, I decided to be truthful.

Once the week is over, I'll post my entire detailed list here.

You can see for yourself what crap I actually watch.

I am supposed to also record the viewing habits of all visitors to my house. You'll get to see what crap Carlos watches too.

Tourist In Your Own Town – 2008

Missed Part I, our adventures last year? Go here


Carlos and I had a mini vacation this weekend – our second annual Tourist in Our Own Town weekend.

Here is a brief list of our adventures.


Friday –

We each took the afternoon off work, arriving at my parent’s Little Yellow House Bed and Breakfast around 2 pm.

Musée Conti Wax Museum

Entergy IMAX Theatre – to see The Dark Knight on the huge screen



A leisurely walk down Decatur and Frenchmen Streets, browsing through shops and Jazz clubs


Saturday –

Breakfast at La Peniche, a restaurant 2 blocks from our B&B

The Riverfront Streetcar to Canal Street and then we walked to…

The Ogden Museum of Southern Art

We wanted to start our day at the Confederate Museum, but it is closed until November.

World War II Museum, which we have been to numerous times, but we wanted to see a new exhibit – Lives Remembered: Portraits of a Community Lost

Beauregard-Keyes House, where my dad volunteers as a tour guide on Saturdays. We were the only ones on his 2 pm tour.

A walk through the French Market, where I bought some local art.

Dinner at Louisiana Pizza Kitchen. (We were going to go to Drago’s, as we did last year, but changed our minds.)

We took the Riverfront Streetcar to the movie theatre at Canal Place, planning to see the French thriller Tell No One, but the movie had started 10 minutes before. The next showing was at 9:40 pm so we walked across the street to Harrah’s Casino. I spent $15.00 to make $22.50. Carlos lost $20.00.



Sunday –

Carlos and I walked down Royal Street before meeting my parents at noon. The four of us had brunch at The Court of Two Sisters. It was elegant, but a total of $50 per person so I don’t think we’ll be doing that very often.

Phew!

Now I’m resting and getting ready for work tomorrow morning.

New Discovery: Arctic Monkeys

Damn you Pandora. I keep discovering New To Me bands and can't get anything else done.

My latest discovery - Arctic Monkeys.

Their best song is a click away below.

Jury Duty

I was called to jury duty this week.

Monday -
We were asked to report at 8:30 am. In Gretna. Across the Huey P. Long Bridge from where I live. That took some planning, but I managed to get there on time.

Ray, an older guy, befriended me in the parking lot and ended up talking to me straight through until around 10 am. I really didn’t mind, seeing that we had nothing else to do but watch TV (we watched the Channel 4 Morning News, Regis and Kelly, The Price Is Right, The Young and The Restless, The Bold and The Beautiful, As The World Turns, and the rest of the CBS lineup.)

The highlight of all that TV watching: Agim Kaba from As The World Turns. He was shirtless from the opening scene until the end of that day's episode.



But I digress...

At almost 3 pm, 39 of us in the jury pool were called to the courtroom. Thirteen of us were randomly picked to sit in the jury box.

We were each asked these questions (with my answers in italics):
What is your name? Marshall -----
What is your occupation? -------- (Let’s keep that info off of here.)
If you are married, what is your spouse’s occupation? I’m not married. (I purposely did not say, “I’m single.” Hey, Carlos!)
Have you or any member of your family ever been convicted of a drug felony? No. (I wanted to say, to paraphrase a line from Stripes, one of my all-time favorite movies, “Convicted? No, not convicted.”)
Are any members of your family in law enforcement? My first cousin’s ex-husband was an Orleans Parish police officer, but was fired last year. The judge laughed at that. “A very tenuous connection”, he said.
Have you ever been on a jury before? Yes. In 1997. It was a civil case. A large boat swamped a small boat and the three people in the small boat fell out. They sued. I went into the case assuming I would side with the “little guy”, but after hearing all the facts – the large boat was following all the laws, the people in the small boat were (illegally) standing up, etc. – I voted for the guy in the large boat.

The 13 of us were taken back to the jury room while the judge and lawyers discussed.

When we were called back, 9 of the jury members were let go. I was one of the four remaining.

Tuesday –
By the time the four of us returned, the other ten jury members (12 plus two alternates) had been picked.

The defendant looked like Suge Knight.



He was charged with having almost 4 pounds of cocaine in a large bag hanging in his closet, and with having a gun – a Glock 9 – under his mattress.

The state’s first witness was a fingerprint expert. No, there were no usable fingerprints on the large bag, or on any of the smaller bags within the large bag.

The state’s second witness was a drug tester. Yes, that was definitely cocaine. Yes, that was definitely almost 4 pounds of it, in powder and in crack form. The lawyer showed us the drugs, but didn’t let us handle it.



The state’s third and fourth witnesses were two of the police officers who served the search warrant - breaking down the door to the house, and finding the defendant in one of the rooms, ironing a shirt. The police had just witnessed the defendant enter the house using a key.

Yes, all the other clothes in the same closet as the Hanger O’ Drugs belonged to the defendant.

Yes, some mail taken from the house had the defendant’s name on it.

The defense called one witness, the girlfriend of the defendant at the time of the incident.

She said that the gun was hers. She said that she did not know where the drugs came from. She said that the defendant did not even live there.

At the time of the incident, she was pregnant but had been seeing both the defendant and another guy. She did not know who the Baby Daddy was. She did insinuate that the drugs could have belonged to her other lover, but could not be sure. He was shot dead in December 2007, two doors down from this residence. (The incident happened in April 2006.)

Wednesday –
Closing arguments. Then to the jury room, with the judge telling us that we needed 10 out of 12 for a verdict.

When we first sat down in the jury room, the consensus from the other jury members was that I should be the foreman. I then said, “Let’s do it like we see it done on TV. Let’s get an initial feel for how everyone is voting.”

I counted the hands signifying the guilty and not guilty votes.

I don’t think I should discuss any specifics that we discussed in the jury room. I do think that I can say that there were many, many, many heated (but civil) discussions about the facts of the case. We all definitely took our duty seriously.

We sent three notes to the judge – the first asking for a clarification about “possession” and “attempted possession” of cocaine, the second asking to re-view the photos of the crime scene.

At the end of five hours, 8 jury members were set on one decision, and the other 4 were set on a different decision. It was obvious to all of us that no one was going to change his/her mind.

The third note: “We are deadlocked at 8 to 4. We do not think this will change. What are our options?”

We purposely did not reveal which way the 8 to 4 was leaning.

From the article about our case: “Defense attorney Davidson Ehle made the plea offer to prosecutors Mike Escudier and Charlie Carr after the attorneys learned the jurors were divided by 8-4, but were unsure whether the jury leaned in favor of a conviction or acquittal.”

The entire article is here.



About an hour after we sent the note, the judge came into our room. Since he had never been into our room before, and we had talked when we were composing the note about the possibility that he would be pissed at us for being deadlocked – too much TV, I guess – we were a bit nervous.

Judge: “The lawyers saw your note. The defendant has taken a plea bargain – 15 years plus a fine. He is guaranteed to serve 85% of the time. Since he has been in jail since being arrested for this crime, the earliest he will be paroled is 10 years from now.”
Us: Jaws open – and a bit relieved.
Me (as foreman): “Do you want to know the details on the 8 to 4 vote?”
Judge: “No. You should take that to your grave.”

He chuckled a bit, but we could tell he was serious.

He told us much more, but I don’t feel comfortable revealing it.

After an hour with the judge, we were escorted as a group to our cars – with two policemen in front, two in back and one on each side of us.

They watched over us until all 12 of our cars were on our paths home.

I will never watch the TV show Law & Order the same again!