What My Mother Told Me

In honor of Mother's Day this past Sunday, here are the
Top Nine Things My Mother Has Told Me Over The Years.



1. "No one is looking at you. They are all too concerned about themselves." That thought has helped me countless times over the years. About a stain. About my tripping. About wearing the "wrong" outfit to a party. Her message: Be yourself.

2. From nine years old onward: "Go outside and play. There's nothing to do inside. But be home when the street lights come on." Growing up, our neighborhood was filled with kids. We loved to play Kick the Can, Capture the Flag - in a 12 block by 13 block area - Baseball, Kickball, and Football, among other games. (Carlos hears my stories about the games we played in the streets as a kid and pictures us growing up poor.) Thanks to our older friend Doris who organized them, we even put on three full-production plays (including building the stage) in her back yard.

3. When my sister Christine and I were both young kids (each under seven), my Dad would hang out at Robert's Bar after work. Most nights, after a couple of hours, my Mom and us two kids would drive to the bar. Mom would coach Christine and I with the exact words, and send us in: "Daddy. When are you coming home?" Tears in our eyes were encouraged by Mom. I didn't understand the concept at the time, but my Dad certainly did. He came right home.

4. To me at 11 years old: "Don't tell your swim coach you have an upset stomach. This will be the only time you'll be able to go to Disney World for $100 [via the JCC Swim Team]." Three hours into the bus trip, I vomited all over myself, my clothes, and my seat mate. My swim coach called my mom and was PISSED - but the rest of my first trip to Disney World was fantastic.

5. When I graduated from college, after having worked for Kinko's for almost five years and having turned down a post-graduation job offer from them, I went to work for a Marketing company - my major. After the first day, I came home crestfallen: It was cold call selling of direct mail advertising. I hated it and felt like a failure. Still living at home right after graduation, the morning of my second day, I was ironing my pants getting ready for work - with tears in my eyes. Mom said: "You don't want to go? Don't go. Call them now so you'll get their answering machine. Then don't look back. Call Kinko's. Tell them that you feel bad that you left them in the lurch about the position they offered you and that you have changed your mind. Don't beg for your job. Spin it that you're doing them a favor." I took her advice and was working for Kinko's again that afternoon. I stayed for 10 years.

5. "Do what you love. The money will follow." I have followed that advice since I have started working. My Freshman year in college, I loved music and radio, and wanted to be a DJ on my college radio station - and auditioned to be a DJ. I got a shitty shift, but worked my way up to create The Birdman and Poker Show in Prime Time Tuesday nights. I was also picked by the Station Manager my Sophomore year to be the Program Director of the station. By my Junior year, the Media Council elected me Station Manager - complete with a full college scholarship (room, board, tuition and books!).

6. "I'm shy." My mother has always claimed to be an introvert, though having practiced for many years appearing as an extrovert. Most people who know her don't believe it. I always have - because I understand the base of what she means and that's what I aspire to also. She has always reminded me of Carol Burnett. Carlos says that this video clip is a perfect representation of her personality.

Carol Burnett from "Once Upon A Mattress"...



or Carol Burnett's version from 1964...



7. "Of course you are my favorite. Don't tell your sisters." Growing up, my two sisters and I all felt that we were the favorite child. We know now that there is no Sophie's Choice. Each child is the favorite. Each child is special. Each child is different. Each child is his/her own person - and was rewarded and encouraged toward his/her own path. And all three of us realize how hard that is to pull off by a parent.

8. "You're gay? Oh. Okay." I came out to her around July 2008 - when I was 41. I know. I know. I was old. [A long post on all that soon.] As you know, the opening line is crucial. Mine was, "You like Carlos, right? Well...He and I are more than friends." She was as cool about it as all my friends said for years she would be about it. I should have told her when I was 10.

9. "Carlos wants to buy a house? I'll be his real estate agent." For a year. The two of them - only, without me - traveled the city in search of the perfect house for Carlos. In the meantime, my boyfriend and my Mom bonded. Without me. Invaluable.

Makes Sense To Me

Gardening: Year Two, Week Three

The garden is coming along nicely. I am already learning some lessons: Next year, plant only one pack of snap beans. They're growing wildly. I'm interested to see what happens when the cucumber vines start to crawl around.



From last year, I did learn that cucumber vines grow and grow and grow. Thus the addition of the chain fence in the back.

I'm really getting into this gardening thing. I learn new things every year.

TV Show: Extreme Couponing

This past weekend, TLC had a marathon of their newer show Extreme Couponing.

Basically, puffy-haired women and a few obviously-gay-but-married-anyway men spend up to "35 hours per week" (!) clipping, organizing, and obsessing over coupons. Then, they head to the grocery to buy truck loads of crap they don't need but "stockpile" anyway because they're getting a great deal. You do not need 100 bottles of hand lotion. Ever.

"I bought $1000 worth" of stuff I don't need "for $12".


I was buying into the concept until I saw three of my pet peeves in one episode:

1) The word is pronounced "coupon" not "Qpon".

2) Fifty cents is written 50¢. If you write .50¢, you are saying 1/2 of a penny.

3) Your coupon books did not come "from God just in time to save [your] home". They came in the mail. Your mailman is not God. God is busy smiting people. He has no time for your petty hobby.


I can no longer watch this show.

House Painting

Time Line -

Before:






Friday, April 22: Scraped and power washed entire house

Saturday, April 23: Painted my house behind the fence - so I could practice before I went in full view of my neighbors to...

Sunday, April 24 (Easter Sunday): Pained my house in front of my house and in front of the prying eyes of my neighbors


Sunday, May 1: Painted the trim (I guess that's what it's called. I painted all the non-white stuff.) Touched up everything else.

After:







Professional Quote from Painting Company: $1300
Cost of Doing It Myself: $300
Neck Pain, Back Pain, Sunburn: Priceless

Music Challenge: Producers

Carlos and I were talking a few weeks ago about prominent record producers.

Among the ones we brought up in the conversation were:
Shep Pettibone
Mutt Lange
Todd Rundgren
Nile Rodgers

He offered me a challenge -
Create a mixed CD of your favorite producer's product. I agreed and figured that he'd pick Shep Pettibone, since he'd produced many of Madonna's singles - who Carlos loves though he is definitely "NOT DEFINED BY MADONNA".

He picked Nile Rodgers.

I picked Todd Rundgren. After some research, I have found that Todd Rundgren has produced 58 albums including some of my favorites, and the reasons I picked him:

Badfinger - Ass (though only two of the songs)

Grand Funk Railroad - Shinin' On

XTC - Skylarking (great album!)



Badfinger - Straight Up (One of his best producing efforts)



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Once Carlos and I both present our compilations to each other, I'll post them here.

How about you: Do you follow certain producers? Who are your favorite producers? Do you feel (strong) record producers shape a band?

New Discovery: The Decemberists

A quick one while we're away...

At work, we alternate among many radio stations including the local Progressive college station, WTUL.

On most Friday afternoons, the DJ plays The Decemberists, especially this song...



Here is my other current favorite song of theirs...



I guess I am very particular: Songs by the Decemberists that have an apostrophe in the title.

For those in New Orleans, they're playing at Jazz Fest on the "First Sunday". I am still working out mentally if I can venture out into the world on a Sunday. We'll see...

What a great song. What a great band.

Friday Music Mix

Carlos is off tonight at Cat's Meow with his work peeps.

Among other projects, I'm home working on my second music compilation of the month. I usually put one together - and sometimes more if time or inspiration hits me.

The music compilation CD just reflects the music I'm listening to at that moment in time - regardless of the current trends. Carlos always gets a copy. Depending on the music, I send copies to other people.

Tonight, I put my cherished Media Monkey on Auto DJ, skimmed off the tunes that didn't fit, added other tunes that inspired me and came up with this set...

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Tangent:

I pay for programs that I respect. To me, money = a vote toward a program that gets it right. After trying the free versions, I paid full price for the complete versions of Media Monkey and the app Shazam.

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...

Wire - U2
It's The Music That We Choose - Gorillaz (video below)
Jerkin' Back N Forth - Devo
Feet Don't Fail Me Now - Utopia
Hammer In My Heart - Utopia
Precious Declaration - Collective Soul
She's Got You High - Mumm-Ra (video below)
Heart Like A Wheel - Steve Miller Band
Have You Ever Seen The Rain? - The Ramomes
Have You Ever Seen The Rain? - Creedence Clearwater Revival
(Wish I Could) Hideaway - Creedence Clearwater Revival
Alone (live) - Heart
The Road Home (live) - Heart
These Dreams (live) - Heart
Ain't It Heavy (live) - Melissa Etheridge
The Long Run - The Eagles
Touch 2 Feel - Girl Talk
The Angels - Melissa Etheridge
Under Pressure (live) - My Chemical Romance and The Used
Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship (video below)
Take It Easy - The Eagles (video below)

You can probably follow which songs came up in the auto mix and which ones were inspired from those.

The videos of some of the songs:

A Great Meal

A couple of times per week, Carlos and I put together an elaborate meal to eat.


Last night, I was sitting outside on my side porch, listening to the radio, drinking a Blue Moon beer when he showed up with marked pages in two cookbooks - Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking, the one he uses the most these days, and Taste of Home: Most Requested Recipes. The recipes that he picked were some of the most delicious we have had in awhile - so I wanted to share them with you. We altered each recipe a bit, which is reflected in our listings.


Champignons Sautés à la Crème
[Creamed Mushrooms]

Ingredients:
1 lb Fresh Mushrooms
2 Tb Butter
1 Tb Olive Oil
2 Tb minced Green Onions or Shallots
1 tsp Flour
1 cup Whipping Cream
3 Tb White Wine*
Salt and Pepper to taste
2 Tb Softened Butter

* The original recipe called for Madeira, but Carlos wanted to use white instead of red wine. I think he sees red wine as an ingredient in French meat dishes such as Boeuf Bourguignon, which he loves to cook - and is quite good at cooking.


Directions:
Sauté the mushrooms in hot butter and oil for 5 to 6 minutes, but do not allow them to brown any more than necessary. Add the shallots or onions and toss over moderate heat for 2 minutes.

Stir in the flour and cook slowly for 2 minutes more, stirring.

Off heat, blend in the cream and seasonings. Then boil down rapidly until the cream has reduced and thickened. Add the wine, and boil for a moment to evaporate its alcohol. Correct seasoning. May be set aside and reheated later.

Off heat and just before serving, fold in the last 2 Tb butter.



Tasty Onion Chicken

Ingredients:
1/2 cup Butter, melted
1 Tb Worcestershire Sauce
1 tsp Ground Mustard
1 can (2.8 oz) French-Fried Onions, Crushed
4 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast Halves


Directions:
In a shallow bowl, combine the melted butter, Worcestershire sauce and mustard. Place the onions in another shallow bowl. Dip the chicken in butter mixture, then coat with onions.

Place in a greased 11" x 7" baking dish. Drizzle with remaining butter mixture. Bake, uncovered, at 400° for 20 to 25 minutes or until a meat thermometer reads 170°.

Bon Appétit!

Working The Room

Carlos and I had a busy weekend.

Friday night, I was invited to an Asado by my friend Dale. Her (36-year-old) daughter Beth and Argentinean husband Gabriel were hosting at their Uptown house.

Gabriel designed and custom built a brick-enclosed grill - complete with chimney - in their backyard. I had been to a "Meat Party", as I call it, at their old house pre-Katrina. This one was just as fun. Gabriel would ring his bell - installed on his brick-enclosed grill - every time new meat was ready. I told him that I was up for whatever he was cooking - as long as he didn't tell me what was "odd" food and what was "normal" food.

I know I had ribs and different types of sausage. I found out later that I also had sweetbread. I can tell you that it is neither sweet nor bread - but it does taste a bit like chicken.

Saturday morning, Carlos and I were invited to a brunch at Steve and Sheree's house. (Steve is an old friend of mine from early high school. I have known him since we were both 13.)

Then he and I spent the day in the Quarter at French Quarter Fest.


When Steve invited us, he told me that there would be about 20 people there and that besides Carlos and me, everyone else would be food writers or food bloggers. I do read Steve and Sheree's blog regularly - and I highly recommend it, especially if you live in New Orleans and/or love New Orleans and/or love food.

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Tangent - Some of my favorite posts from their blog, French-Quarter-Fest-centric because that fest was this weekend:

French Quarter Fest Logistics
French Quarter Fest Food
French Quarter Fest Music
Ranting about Outback Steakhouse - and chain restaurants in general

And my all-time favorite post of theirs (so far)...
Safety in the French Quarter

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I also mentioned to Carlos what Steve had said about the other attendees so he would have the same information as I had and could be prepared. He didn't seem concerned. Carlos is always so graceful and social at parties. I, on the other hand, show up at our (mutual) hair cut guy with prepared topics. Over the years, I have tried to absorb his calmness about "working the room".


This weekend were two great occasions to practice my social skills. Friday night, I knew maybe five people out of 50. Saturday morning, Carlos and I knew exactly two people out of 20 (the two hosts). Both outings were successful in their own way.

Picture yourself invited to a large party where you know a very small handful of people - maybe even only the hosts: Do you talk just with them? Do you branch out and talk with other people? Do you drink too much to overcome your shyness? Do you make an excuse to leave early? Do you wuss out entirely and not show up at all?

Over the years, I have done all of the above. Here are my Tips For Working The Room that I have learned over the years.

1. The first people and the last people at the party you should talk with are the hosts. But do not cling to them all night. They have an entire room to attend to.

2. When you arrive, have something to hand the hosts. Never show up to a party empty handed. Never. Plus it'll give you something to - briefly - talk about.

3. Leave the above item at the party. Always. Do not take it home with you. Ever.

4. Offer to help with something. Refill the ice. Stir the chili. Take the coats. It'll help the hosts and give you something to talk with your potential new friends about.

5. When introducing yourself to other guests, relate yourself to your hosts - someone you will all have in common. ("Dale and I worked at Kinko's together, and have remained friends ever since. I have known Beth since she was in her teens.")

6. Don't talk too much. Listen. Ask questions. No one wants to hear about your life. Everyone wants to talk about their own life.

7. Don't talk too little. No one wants to talk with someone who can't keep up his side of the conversation.

8. Find the most wall flower person at the party. She/he is feeling exactly as you are, but not handling it as well as you are. There is power in numbers. Go talk with him. Then the two of you go talk with other people together.

9. When you're introducing yourself to someone, repeat their name back to them. And again. And later again. (I still remember Karen's name from Friday night because when I met her, I kept saying her name.)

10. Think about what you have in common with the guests before you arrive. (Before Steve and Sheree's brunch, I read the 15 unread entries of their blog - and all the comments. Turns out, many of the comments were made by other guests at their brunch.)

And in case all of the above fails...

11. Have an exit strategy when you arrive. Near the beginning, work into the conversation with someone (preferably the hosts) that you may have to leave early because 1) you have to get up early for work, 2) you accidentally double booked the evening, 3) your spouse is a bit under the weather, and so on. Make the excuse something that you can brush off if your night is going well.


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Keeping with the weekend theme, here is the song W.E.E.K.E.N.D. by Arling & Cameron. If you are in New Orleans and listen to WTUL on Friday mornings, you know this song.